They call me the Human Bowling Pin. I get knocked down, but I get up again. Ain't nothing gonna break my stride. With one left foot I have good rhythm. My one leg and I are going

and I was DAMN PROUD of my uncut okras and their protective lids! You see, I was at first

I had no idea what any of these terms meant, so I contented myself with listening to Howard's mesmerizing whatever-the-heck-he-was-doing-on-YouTube. It was quite soothing. But one

"Heaven is a place on earth. You know who said that?" I would have shaken my head, but I was dead, see. Still, I said "No idea." Tediel sighed. "You've never heard of Belinda Car

your sovereignty in the United Nations Council, Mr. Seaman! You must desist at once!" Of course, Ms. Farts's odor was evidence enough of her participation in chemical warfare, and

to his senses: he could make his own movie, and use his own language! It would be called "Hercules Cwms Sozhaleyu", and was released to mixed reviews. Leonard Maltin called it "The

counting each other's nose hairs." Knife leaned in to his cellmate and peered up his nose. "One. Two... uh, three..." Spoon smacked him away. "Quiet, man! You're spoiling my

remember when she said she would never do this again. None of us believed her. We knew we'd be sitting here all over again because she done did what she always done. Second, how is

Diner. The place was on fire, which meant it smelled GLORIOUS because of all that bacon fat left in the fryer. But Al just shook his head. "Been there, done that. Just get me a

And what kind of adjective would we desire for Facebook to accommodate? Pristine? Enthusiastic? Onerous? Odiferous? Slimy? Unbecoming? The possibilities were endless. But we had to

reveled in its ability to bounce and ping off the rocks that it encountered, like a tennis ball upon a flight of stairs. When it reached the bottom, it eagerly went back to the top

-asonal thing, for it doth happen t'wither it raineth or shineth. In the still of the night's snow, the cloak and sword doth sparkle, ensconced lovingly in thy shrubbery's embrace.

It was true, I had only seen the virus once. Every other time, either it had blinded me, or it was too small to see. Either way, I decided I wouldn't stop until I had eradicated

"CUT!" The director was furious. "Okay, Hercules, go cool down in your trailer and come back when you can speak English again. Meanwhile, everyone break for lunch." The actors all

the dead horse and started beating it with a ping-pong paddle. "CUT!" The director was furious. "Come on, Hercules! That's six horses now! Go practice your lines!" Hercules sobbed

obtuse hypotenuse overused rhombus boozers with protracted compass disease. They tended to go around in circles, parallel to the ground but perpendicular to each other's

god like himself. He thought ahead to the day when he could tell his enemies off with just one swish of his hair. That would be the day that his life truly began.

My spleen!? Bah. Who needs white blood cells anyways. Chew on my furry friend, immune system, be gone! Give me some good old fashioned social distancing a.k.a divide and conquer.

ly, a refrigerated toe flinched. "Still alive?" Sure enough, there was a whole man in that fridge, wrapped tightly in a fetal position. "Jesus Christ. help me get this guy out." He

-om only. It was filled mostly with poly-sci majors to get their humanities credits towards their degrees. One of those who took the course took his idea to Uber.