"Hey there beautiful"a gay lizard on the ceiling was trying to flirt with me.I had to play along, i could see it was guarding all of the commas.he said his name was the comma cam

Burn my stupid fake hand clean off. I lost it while trying to fetch a ping pong ball from a lizard lady. Anyway now I have a brighter torch and its my arm on fire. I didn't mind

Pleasures of hop skipputy arse slap. A game my childhood friends and I would frequently play amongst the garbage on planet splenge. my BFF would sometimes shout "last to crank the

Form korrect sentinals, my insides are all wronj. Marty mcfly had arrived on an e-scooter powered by a flux capacitor, in a effort to make toast his fumbly hands removed hals cores

Said the fat controller . "I just can't help myself, im mad for aul bullseyes so I am"

What if he was to rewrite the last season of game of thrones , go back in time , kill some dudes,right some wrongs, make a lil love, get down tonite. Maybe just maybe all would be

A barrel of coors lite. The frothing suds swoosh around the immediate area, all of the elves were hank banastered and six shades of Wednesday, the hog princess rolled up her

Everyone was observing the safe cross code. STOP, LOOK, LISTEN. Splat !! Old no ears Magoo was the first to go, taken out by a bread van. Quincy gaseous eyes took a subaru to the

through the front of my pants from my gyrations, you see the hold music switched to Ricky Martin and I just can't help myself when I hear "she bangs she bangs" I go

, the palace's unofficial satire publication. It read, "We like the cut of your jib! If you would be so kind as to join us for a dinner and roast ceremony..." Roast dinner? Sounds

be such a douche sack? A... is that what it's called? A sack? A box? A mason jar? Hmm... anyway, why'd he have to be one? It's silly to think that a deity could be so

decidió dejar de hablar en español and got back to telling it in a way everyone could understand. Where were we? Blah blah blah something about a llama mascot embargo in a tropical

He successfully created werewolves, sasquatches, zombies, and even a couple of hellhounds. But alas, no vampires. Every attempt at a vampire went down in flames. Literally. Like,

silly she looked in all that latex. "You know, Mandy, you should consider Spandex. It's so much more comfortable and flattering at the same time!" Amanda looked back at Frieda and

Now, of course, the ego-men did not want to be animals; they did not want to face themselves. They forced a human being to live in the jungle. It was an endless torment for them.

cats never do. He extended a paw; I passed over the 'nip. No further communication was necessary. Done deal. I awoke the next

I'd never achieve my dream of becoming a member of the Olympic volleyball team, despite my skills and talent. I was made for better things - I *would* become a traffic warden!

It wouldn't be long before either the ghosts doing the haunting would catch up with me, or the staff from the hospital, or the police. No one can walk around naked for long.

Florals were not a good look on someone with a butt that large, so Cajun picked the overalls with stars in pastel shades as that'd flatter his pear-shape and make him look fabulous

The hopes and prayers hadn't helped. The sugar water that the snake-oil seller have me was useless. Time had come to trust the science and get the medicine. If I could just leave