a scarab flew through the window and landed on George's nose. I was in midswing when it happened. I had to fight my fist's momentum to stop from smashing the scarab into his face.

Chris then made the fatal mistake of walking home through the Latin Quarter, where the document fell from his pocket and was picked up by Victor, who was fluent in Hispaniola, and

Shared a cab to the airport with a movie star & calmly told her I cleaned my rifle looking at her naked photos I uploaded from cyber space. “Downloaded, Stupid”, She corrected me.

proper acting technique?!" thundered Scorsese at the cowering shark,"We don't pay you to chat the actors up, we pay you to CHEW them up!" The chastened shark bared its teeth at me

"I need better tentacle augmentation!" demands the cabbage. Elon stares at it, mystified. He is sure he has seen it before, perhaps in a sandwich from the German deli in Hell. Some

cream was used to preserve the remains of the Bavarian Illuminati. Perhaps it was a reference to Bavarian cream. When Adam made this discovery, he realized that the wig-maker had

For all his bravura, we couldn't understand why Adam's dead wife still needed a wig maker. She never saw her new wigs. The crypt was sealed. Still, Adam was spending a lot of coin.

not without a hint of snideness. He gestured at the children at play. "Perhaps my tune is more to the liking of yon children. I tire of always being alone with the rats." He blew

"How unseemly of me," he said as he thumbed the mildewy seam. Trying to rub the mildew away. Then he noticed a bit of honey stuck on the back of his paw. He had a Big Appetite. But

The Other Side had been building up their Wizard Corp for between 34 to 81 years, depending on which schismatic you placed your money on. We've only had 2 years. We're outclassed.

The Wizardry sent you to me because nobody else can reach you. Well, here, I won't be trying to reach you. If you want to finish alive, you'll have to do the reaching. No coddling

Just before I left the room I turned off the light and turned to look at them in the dark. Most were quite surprised to learn I still had a soul. My own, in fact. Tomorrow they can

his balls in the La Brea tar pits. Admiral Bucky Fularine needed to find them, stat, and find time to give Lee Fletcher a court martial. So long as the court martial was catered.

and sure enough, the volcano exploded. Louie's Rock City was engulfed in lava, and the crowd went wild. It was the first time the smoke machines there had worked for years. But it

deals on overpriced gifts that nobody wants. I bought two bags of them and sent them to Jon Pertwee as a thank-you for the hovercraft. He smashed them to bits and sent them back.

"Yes, you did. And I happen to be an owl," said the windshield cleaner as he climbed into the passenger side and demanded $25. The man stared at his open talon and gave him the

no doubt that she was confused about the difference between greasepaint and biological heritage. The audience demanded their money back, but she had all ready fled through the back

om using Frontline, which was about as useless as the proverbial screen door on a submarine. Bill's fleas were proliferating over his face and abdomen. Sara had to take the fight

semantic faux pas be detected (hard to proofread yourself after all) or will nobody know what a preposition is? Oh well, I can always go back and correct it later. What do you mean

Ij noticed that my formative years are not known as the olden times by this new generation. It is all lumped together, in their minds, with the World Wars, Gallipoli, the Boxers Re