His plan was coming together. The evil genius Kay-Nein from the Dog Star was at first dismayed at how easily people could ignore these facts, but then alt-facts played right into

Without a memory, history, or a cent, I made my story The Story. Whatever the chapter, it was about me. Unrest in the Middle East was because I had indigestion of the Suez Canal.

I found the Green Kool-Aid man in the back with the witch, pumpkin man and the bunnies. He had been mistaken for a Dracula or Frankenstein's monster. We wondered if his flesh was a

Hansel, the grate he was on quickly getting hotter, realized being pretty did not mean being good. "How can someone so pretty do us so poorly?" "You think I'm pretty", the witch as

The ipso ergo was wrong, I admit that up front. Somehow reason crossed over and it's elegant construction had us bamboozled just long enough for her conversion to lock in. The live

Firewalls and anti-virus programming do nothing to stop the progression of disease. Network terminals turn terminal. Data multiplies beyond processing capabilities— like cancer.

with his face in mashed potatoes shaped like a mountain. "This means something," the ugly princess said thoughtfully. It seemed important, but she was late for work at

o.k., & felt a thud. I drove forward & back a few times, then put what was left of Meemaw in the trunk. The graveyard's faded sign read something like "et sematar". I buried Meemaw

Noah even know braille? That's what everyone really wanted to know. When he would say he had learned it "overseas", they could smell that he was lying. Jerry's dream unicorn said

room for only one at a time. Sleepy Steve and Happy Smith agreed to work an extra shift on one condition. The squad leader had to promise them two dozen donuts, each.

I guess this the place you ask the other steadies if you think I am improving at this or not. Am I improving or not? That's me asking the question. You won't chase me away, please.

your hat to as if to say, "I gave you a fleeting thought, but decided otherwise." Creation knew where she was headed alright. "I'm going to make a big bang in, um, 5...4...3...2...

aunts in the neighborhood put out garbage down the street. It's not like I'm sitting around all day with the door wide open focusing on picking up scents. They just come to me

from any naysayers. He'd paid his dues. They could just-- "Beat it! Just beat it!" Dave the break-dancer shouted and danced angrily in their general direction. An electric boogaloo

Det. Manatee barged in, rushed over to the corpse, ripped off its shirt... another victim of The Unstrapper? "YOU A-HOLE!" shrieked the exposed ME who had been vetting the rug for

long into 2,793,486 pieces for the 2,793,486 baby piranha I had unsuccessfully hidden in the linen closet. Yeah, my landlord was prone to exaggeration. Told me he'd also cut

While everybody else was up on the top deck watching the aliens and whales battle it out I ran into her in the kitchen. She was loading up on shrimp ceviche which is what I was af

I think I saw that kid from Resident Block #448342 over on level #438 of Tower #E33 just might have been found guilty of a pleasure thought about his sister's gerbil lunch. Perv!

When I was a kid, I couldn't wait to turn 6 so I could start being a spy for the government. Even at 5 they would still let me spy for them but they couldn't pay me yet. I built up

The fan on my desk was tired of trying to push this moist air into a semblance of a breeze. It had to go through the motions but it's heart was not in it and the moist air knew it.