Looking out from the Lincoln Memorial, Angus Peacock could see the mobs forming down the street. Was this a Trumpian Spring or an insurrection or both. Either way, his patent would

-koo cucumber? Vegepeople like you give me gas. You're seedy. And thin-skinned! Why, I ought to slice you into wedges, except I do like the way you dip. You're in a pickle, my

to come down that track. This fine fellow was no Buddy, Bro, or Mack. He showed up at open slams like Mayor McCheese on super fly crack. He don’t see no reason to hold back on the

the invisible creeps implored Zeke. All the time laying their invisible unfelt hands upon his ectoplasm. Dragging him into the unseen world. Zeke did welcome having invisible tits.

I didn’t know elves could do that. Now I’ll have to be wary at corners in case of horny elves. Spent, the elf hiked up her petticoats and went on her elf way. Her ears would make

But at the time, it all seemed superfluous to the fact that I would have to find someone to repair the hole in my wall caused by the can of Surge and the Biker Mice from Mars.

Poi Dog Pondering & the POLYPHONIC SPREE stole their mojo. No longer were they the Preoccupied Flounder. They were 22 souls on the way to manifestating the Major Arcana. Holly Dude

Don't brush it too long, though, or it will grab your arm and pull you in, despite not having any muscles or nerves with which it could move on its own. Yep, her curly hair could b

didn't understand. I thought they were calling me the shoplifter. Which I was. Hence why I thought they were talking about me. Turns out Shoplifter was a snowglobe protecting girl.

but as long as I could get it up Rye didn't care. With Rye blowing all over me I couldn't help but get it up. I had not known being ravished by the wind would be like this. I was

for her set of keys. They were on his weed tray that he thought she had thrown away when they moved in together. She had saved it 2 decades to drive it into his heart now. Good rid

"Late late one night upon the feasting grounds of the Great White Zeit, I came upon an unsightly site--" "What are you doing?" "I was reading one of the stories on foldingstory.com

He'd had to heave a haunch at lunch. "He hadn't naught ought to," says Otto using Autovox extensions with Abbraxxos Osmostesttest of da Bestestes. "What beast did you feast on?"

One finds that their kink is not appropriate in the workplace. At least, it was if your workplace was a leading Catholic university. Milner's wasn't. But it appeared the same rules

Taking a long walk on a short leash was refreshing after being cooped up with the in-laws for two weeks. When I say short leash I mean short. Ten inches to match my carpet burns. A

"I find it odd that you don't even." He snapped his fingers to the gumba behind him. The gumba walked around the desk. He stepped on my shoe. "They're not concrete shoes Boss." Now

True, I had dated other female carrots before, but my heart was no longer in it. And I had a pigeon in my stomach. I was not sure of the pigeon's sexual preferences, but by now, it

am not truly dead, Gilligan, I am just lost in spirit." Gilligan was acting very surprised, but his friend didn't know why he was acting the way he was. "You're acting kinda weird,

"Jenny Nero was not the girl everybody thought she was," I told the cops. "She was the middle school bookie. She took odds on which 3rd grader Mrs. Emerson would pinch first. I was

"Who can insert the sharpest object into Eminem's ear canals?" Not that his ability to hear had ever come into play in his life before, as his career evidenced. We freed his prison