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Janelle said, "Well, I collect foreign language phrase books, and my advice is: start with 'Hello! My name is Dave' (or whatever your name is). But does your girl know you lookin'
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A goat whisperer I am not. I began by not beginning. There was a beginning but it wasn’t because of me. I found myself involved but kept putting it off. Until the day that I found
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Carlos’ mother wanted to wring Carlos’ bedwetting ass out to dry. This constant contact with urine and bleach was giving her terrible headaches. Carlos started to shout, “Esta loca
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to uncovering why neighbors are rude; why they let their dog shit on your lawn, piss on your welcome mat, and terrify your wide-eyed and bushy-tailed cat at the dining room window.
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and therefore lacked the proper enzyme for a particular neuron to fire at this point. It didn't and Tom didn't realize how fast Gramps was and lost his wattle to the sea. Papillon
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I'm also terrified of widths & depths. I'm not all that comfortable with duration either. You can see my dilemma. It wasn't enough that the clouds were endless & full of high rises
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tones Karen announced: "Slugger tossed litter from his car!" A horrified collective gasp escaped the onlookers & my manager told me I was out of tomorrow's fight. Cameras flashed,
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I got an irate call on my cel: "You told all the passengers I'm having a baby?!" "Wha..how'd you know?" "The frikin' CONDUCTOR phoned to congratulate me!" Yikes. "Uh, they won't te
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If she were my historical inevitability, I’d be powerless to stop her moving parts. The cogs of fate held firmly and drew me to her. I inspected her dirty fingernails, declaring,”
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The last thing Ted expected was dying. But there he was dying and thinking he didn't ask for this. He snuffed out still believing he wasn't dying. The dye on his hands should have
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And, true-to-life, that day came; her name was Delightful, and she was that, and much more. She had her way with Bubble the SeaWing(Dragon) until he did what all bubbles do: popped
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It was suggested, at some point, that the problem with Blanche was Blanche. Blanche would have agreed with you and then knocked herself out. It wasn't so much that she could
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"My, your suite is red," I told him as I glowered around the exact replica of my suite. "Yes, I came up with the color scheme myself," he smugly answered. "Oh really," I sneered,
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got started, the weather that brought on the time-warps. We thought they were tornadoes descending from the sky, but when they reached down and swooped us off into the Pleistocene
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-n half neatly, wrapped it in deli paper and handed it to Death. "You want a Coke to go with that sandwich?" he asked Death, but the hooded figure shook its cranium and went to sit
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not get out anymore while there was some creepy creature walking towards them. the creature was tall, wearing black clothes and wearing a mask. he was silent and would not say..
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Meanwhile, deep in the forest, the monster buck was being told that little john was coming for him. "Why would he be coming after me," the monster buck asked. "I've done him no
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Professor Loomis was visiting hir alma mater, The University of Pluto. A forgotten dorm charge had reared it's ugly head. With inflation, he now found hirself on the hook for more
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The Enterprise's replicator refused to produce any more of the little wrapped soaps after it caught wind of a documentary about the Holiday Inn hotel franchise on Earth. Picard
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"Ha! Janessa. You startled me." Janessa said, "So much for implants. I knew you were a little jumpy, but not that jumpy. Who's targeting you?" He tried to find a polite way to