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I came out of a senior moment to discover I had delivered the majority of my breakfast upon floor mat beneath my desk and chair. I disregarded the 5 second rule and ate it anyway.
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“Goodnight Jimbeau. Goodnight Jon Benet.” “Goodnight Barry Allen. Goodnight Bobby Jo.” “Enough with the goodnights. You kids go to sleep.” Gramps had issues with goodnights. Always
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“Who you calling Knuckles, Meathead? How about I give you a knuckle sandwich?” The entire time I’m doubting if Tony is in the car, he tests me, “Who told you they don’t like water?
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"Topsail. Topsail that. We'll have you fitted with a hook in no time. You'll be be swinging from the crows nest soon enough." "Thank you for the pep talk, Captain." I said. A hook?
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his senses had already given up on him. They never intended to help him stop wandering. They had been burned too often for his senses to go back to him. They gave enough to keep it
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Not necessarily in that order. Still, she was wearing something. That is what caught my attention. Most of the women stone skippers liked to skip nude. She wore those boots like a
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ginger ale in the fridge is a bad omen. I had an Uncle Josh who once kept 12 liters of ginger ale in his fridge, and later that year, he was pecked to death by a blind ostrich.
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"You know I do," God answered in a quiet thunder. "I am the Cause that writ it all. I have a mind of what I writ. What's it to you," God asked Jim Dandy, "Or him?" God pointed at
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She was also a black heart when it came down to the pink. "Keep your purple fog, Mel, Give it to me if in living color. Like you used to. You remember when you used to, don't you?"
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Mr. Nix's neighbor, Miss Flambe, reported to the building super that Mr. Nix had seemed a bit alive this morning when she passed him in the hall. "Only a trick of the light." That
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I have just accidentally cooked myself the best damn breakfast ever. I don't think I could do it again. I set out to make a ham sandwich. I opted for corn tortilla & added 2 eggs.
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were best paid in stray hippocampus but we were just not feeling it on that day. The captain's mother might have reminded him that I was most likely his father. It didn't go well.
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too much truth to be accidental. We few of us who had been watching exactly for something like that were looking elsewhere when it happened. The missing 33rd page appeared briefly.
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"Five fifty-five is the way to arrive in the metroplex complex," said the chao boy on the left. But the other merely touched my arm and tripped me out of that material jackassery.
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Surprisingly, she got the reference immediately and flashed me her horns and tongue. It was pierced, of course. It was also forked. I'd never been with a girl with a forked tongue.
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She didn't care that his shoes were smaller. "In how many cities have you found your bed full," she whispered into her "husband's" ear. "Only this one, with you," he grunted back.
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Martin Guerre's wife didn't want to give the gig away. The Martin that had come back to her had found his manhood twice over. As long as he did his husband's duty, she dared not
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the pig was still in it. That, of course, affected the aerodynamics of what, everyone now understood, was a flying pig. "That isn't supposed to happen yet," God's voice boomed from
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papaya lying there on the white paper plate on the robin egg blue paper tablecloth atop the kid sized card table. "Mrs. Pitt, where did you find that massive papaya," I declared.
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To have a knighthood bestowed upon the songwriter who wrote a hit song from my stated reason for shooting up an elementary school. But that has been done already. I had to find a