The the first child born after midnight, on January 1st, also had blue eyes. The next baby didn't. By morning the world knew eye color dispersion in newborns was back to precrisis

An old fat frail man like me has no business dancing in his kitchen like a Flapper. But there I was, with bad knees and without a trace of rhythm. When the FBI surveillance video

Sorry bro, I didn't read a thing you were saying. I was busy figuring out how to do this fold. I guess I chose thumbing my nose at you.The next folder, I hold in the highest esteem

So my hearing was working. I just had to assume my eyes were working just fine and that it was too damn dark.Suddenly, even through the Environment Suit, I discovered my nose still

have done what I actually did...which was nothing. I stood by & let it happen. Chickensh*t, that's me. The next day I had my opportunity to redeem myself when Shaniqua asked me if

Are they even real? No, they're odd real. Extremely odd real. Ok, not that that is settled. We can move on to the next item on the Agenda. Which is this business with the statue in

through these vast featureless horizons that I can't see. I see other people on the same listless meander. I wonder if I should say hello or stare or whatever. I wonder. Are they

To make a short story long, it all began at the Big Bang. Up to that point I didn't know I had business that I didn't want others to know about. There hadn't been others before.

I made a mental note to have chicken Alfredo for lunch. Can you imagine if I had had the Pasta Primavera, I asked myself. I didn't bother answering. I was awake & covered in vomit.

fire and looked for a way to make a dramatic exit. As i reached the door eventually someone else said something: "HEY, are you going to the mountains later or

A rouge carpet in front of a wooden fire wearing a bikini. This zombie could burrow its way into my mind and unleash the horrors within. Must, remove the head, destroy the brain..

insert witty line, here.) Meanwhile, back at Francine's Community Outpost (which was a whorehouse, let's face it), Dungaree Jeff was just pulling on his pants. "I'll have to pay

/ I can see that you are evil, I can see that you are vile / And I know you want to kill me, and I know you want my head/ But I'll kill you first with kindness, and you'll marry me

One could only hope that somehow, their dwindling numbers would lessen their aggravation at an unfortunate man being thrown into their tank.

I spout out a shout to the people that count, which is no one because that's not what I'm about. The universe don't see you or your sorrow, don't give a shit if you have tomorrow.

The melting pot itself was a pot melting when she tried her hand. She had no idea how she was doing it but her touch on the magic was so gentle & graceful, he forgot he was the tea

Larissa, like a Brenda, doesn't exist. Or she is Everywoman. And like a Brenda, people have worked out the math of you and Larissa ever being a thing. Together, Like in hooked up.

not before (<Larissa's napkin from lunch that day.>) the (<Kilroy Murpheson was a piano tuner who died of pig stomach.>). Pyle looked at Sneaky Pete and blew him a kiss. Kidney's

My fashion sense was even boohoo hooed. How can this be, I asked myself. At 3 I lit up Paris when I found a box of matches. Now I'm making match commercials. One trick pony, maybe,

I let it slip out and it wrecked the garage. It squeaked when it should honk. Honked when it was to be quiet. I checked the warranty. It looked good. I had to track down the planet