I was joking when I told that kitten goodbye. I told her if she felt raw about it, she could remember that she probably killed me. Doesn't feel that funny now that she did. The bit

OMG! I can't believe how blind I was. I just heard my father say something really nasty to somebody in his room. Who the hell is he talking to? Mom is at work. Same as every Wednes

I took that to mean that line from that private chat commercial. "Are you a sexy pill?" I guess he was in there giving himself an aspirational build up. That or he was masturbating

AND THAT IS NOT A MOTH-EATEN SUIT! I ran the little culprit running to his much bigger mama and her much bigger husband and his brother's next door neighbor's daughter, Larisa.

"i undercut you both with Wotan usurping Olympus while you while your while away with willing mortal women. Behold, his Son Thor, A god of Thunder and other things. You wouldn't kn

A fool was found. I'll tell you how later in the story. Right now, we got to get him ready to go meet the king. Stop scratching your backend laddy and go fetch me some fresh milk!

A different story to every story if you're brave enough. Few were that. They took each story as the ultimate arbiter on itself. Judge not yourself lest you find the judge a fool.

"Hey kids, why are you looking oddly? Are you kids on drugs? Why are you looking past me over my shoulder and all synchronized in looking up over my head." I spun around. OMG WTF!!

She looks a lot like Alanis Morrisette. I don't know if I spelled that in American or Canadian. It was true about what they say about the water there. It is lava. Don't worry. You

Time. No longer will they be able to say that you can't buy more time. Those days are gone now buster. We made a deal with the Devil Herself. What She saves we pass on to you.Time.

Some, I conjecture, exist for whom this sentence doesn't exist the way you think it does.

Ted was a different kind of boss. If you came to him with an idea, he really considered it & didn't leave you hanging wondering what really felt about it. He never likes my ideas.

I knocked on his pretend door. "Knock knock," I said as i jostled the lovebead strands which were his door. "Pray tell, who goes there. Are you fiend or foe?""The police want the b

When this was discovered, she lost both her job as a kindergarten teacher and & a supervillian by night. The supervillian rules clearly stated no outside employment. Alois was told

A unicorn that is... A unicorn circle that proud of his roundness and doesn't feel bad eventually being saved from hell but transformed from his square shape, au contraire.. he saw

Balls deep in a yeti. My psychic, it turns out, had been right all along. Its pretty cold so I make my excuses and leave, only to be flung into the hands of a headshrinker

At the latest creation by Gaahl I get a feeling of complete empathy with the universe. This is why I became Victor Frankenstein, artist extraordinaire. People never appreciate art

Object can be a useful aide for de-lifing another. Sometimes I take out my gran and her bingo club for a quick cake and a kill. I think she just likes to bond with her grandson

Because Patsy the Pot has a hole in it. My rectal children have been let loose all over the house, and donned Christmas hats and sing songs at me. A clout with a pot leaves a stain

Idea, what if your children choke to death in your socks? What if their brains are forever tainted by the fungi that grows inside the shoe? She wished she had more book ideas