El Pato Elado was entering the lobby of the Galactic 1ST Bank of Titan carrying a 5 gallon bottle of ASSWIPE branded purified water when his credentials didn't pass muster & he was

“Eat them.” Abigail said darkly. “What?” She threw her arms up and cried blood tears, wailing “EAT THEM ALL! MAKE THIS RIGHT!” I nervously eyed the pile of sharp, broken records...

Orange Juicer, the superhero, was lounging around his secret underground Orange Julius with a couple of his lethal Anita Bryants when the Red Juicer Phone started Juicing a problem

The Ginormousants were eating their massive quantities of Chunkys. They maintain a direct portal to the original production run of them on a loop. Infinite Chunkys for everyone!

"Of course I have spies in your castle, Ser Baalister. They were my castles before I made you Steward. I even know what you shit out before I know what I shit out. You've not been

"You are wrong..." The Court's collective gasp drowned out anything the High Herald might've followed those 3 words with. The New Queen looked at him & then them. "Off with his cod

Did Guild of Tarts jump the shark with this week's episode, A Long Knight? The Deus ex machina bit where Ari kills the Queen of the Dusk with her father's straight razor, although

dollup of sweetened poi that I remembered seeing on my plate of eggs and Spam when the cute wahini set it down before me. I couldn't find it even after 80 days. I could've circled

For most of history, humanity has seen itself as the center of everything. Against the vistas of human endeavor, each universe fails by leaving humanity bored with Nothing. If IT

We grew up in the 27th dimension without The Pink Floyd. Instead, we had the periwinkle ramona. I only mention it because I miss the periwinkle ramona's Currency, although I also

Being conjoined twins made being the bass player for the periwinkle ramona a blast. Regina handled the frets while Dolores handled the bridge and the sustain. Their mom, Eve Mudd,

old Airstream that some reported being in the neighborhood the night they vanished. Det. Manatee found it odd that all of the Alvarez's neighbors described the Airstream in hushed

When you took the street kid in, you really did want to help him. You understood some of what he was facing. You also hoped he would do what you couldn't & murder you. He didn't &

You & that guy that used to be that bad ass but isn't him anymore are playing Chinese checkers for carts when the mail trustee brings you a letter from Muscaria Hemlock. You're coy

To hear the doctors tell it, Omar Peck had tried to suicide twice. That was not true. Omar Peck considered the 1st one an experiment & the 2nd didn't count because he was just lazy

I started wondering why real art cost so much to the artist. Each struggle, a triumph away from being a failure and vice versa. Versa vice is what they call it when you walk in on

aith and we're back where we think we started, only more doubtful that we really are what we apprehend to ourselves as being who we are; a doubt, and nothing more. Or less. Even?

Space is there between What Is & What Isn't. There has to be some barrier keeping them apart. You are that barrier. You, my reader, are what keeps the whole shebang going. You only

Still, maybe. It is all we will allow to be Truth. We can't deny our being an instance but that doesn't mean we have to understand it as a state of being that is simply being. What

The canvas that life has seems infinite to us in our small imaginings. We're not really fooling ourselves but we pretend that we are and then, somehow, pretense becomes fact. A lie