Look, I am a reasonable approximation of an imaginary person who I will call, Me. Me and I don't always see eye to eye as we both have lazy eyes. Mine lazier than his. His eye does

is Quasar but you can call me Quasar. I also have lost small furry creatures to mandibles in my habitat. I was assured the Ark would be mandibles free the duration of our passage.

through a Five Guys just as the fries get rescued from the fryer. She reminded me of home and my last night at the Motel 6. I was in 7th heaven, I thought, but really I was in an o

& we're isolated in a n-dimensional temporal exploitfield which was transcibed from the surface of the planet." Spider Crystal Alajra listened to the jozo but was already issuing

belly & 4 paws up. The Hamster World Extreme servers were confiscated by Interpol & the manhunt for Josef X (still not his real name) was on. Gameplayers were deputizing themselves

When I launched this arduous trip, I was a mere pup…very green and very wet behind the ears…but I was ambitious and I had faith; regrettably, neither has been easy to maintain.

How many years did I meander through life without any direction, living off the Earth’s fruit, and the Sun’s energy, and God’s tears…weathered, withered, and worn…65 years? 66?

I look disgusting! what did they do to me while I was there? Usually I have all the girls at my side but with this look, I be picking up gorillas! IF ONLY I COULD MOVE MY LEFT ARM.

Man that was a tough day. Wait. That felt like more than a day. hold on a second. Its 3 o'clock. It was that time like 2 hours ago. Either my clock is dumb or

Also, once upon that same time, there lived a tart. This tart seemed steamy but she was far from it. You see, like the maiden who was a secret wizard, this tart was also a secret p

Who knew that starting an epic quest would get the government to immediately search your life? Sure I tried to fight a man who looked like a goblin, but why would the government

between her lover and her loyal friend. She was rather suspicious of the two since they had been so secretive recently. Alison put away her cigarette and fixed her dress. She went

nobody can be found to validate mall parking. Keep your love. I’ll just park in the park where the parking is free for up to 4 hours today. Asexual reproduction is a thing that has

It just got stupider. The Amish bearded praying mantis beamed at the new sarcophagus he had made for his #756th wife. Her opinion of it was quite different, for some reason. Thei

Boudreaux Tinker was a creature of habit; he’d get up before dawn, every day of the year, unfasten the trap door to his insulated underwear, and scratch his buttocks. Then he’d

I'm so full of regrets and second thoughts. You have no idea how many times I've revised or scrapped this post and started over. A "what the hell attitude" does not come easily to

My Grouper-shaped aeroplane has a name, and his name is Henry. He likes to make 1930s Flash-Gordonesque buzzing sounds as he transits the sky, but a sense of decorum dissuades him

the fate of Cookie Monster and the best way to do something I can't mention because of the Magician's Code, but several competing spy agencies had contacted me, and Dave shouldn't

Tonight, not only will we move the clocks ahead, we will move humanity ahead as well. Tinfoil will only scramble the treatment. Noncompliance will result in derangement and death.

Ingvar and his bandmates strode into the Boar and Cleaver and sidled up to the bar in their black leather and silver runes. "That area is reserved for civilized people," said Mick