Apparently, that was the only place where anyone had freedom in the Post-everything era. There was no central bank there, ever, nor were there any food riots. They read the Onion.

obliterated from the page I wrote on from the sheer acidic makeup of my breath at the time. "God, that dip was ferocious", I said to Wolfie, whose face melted even as I spoke.

Completely renovate the living room so the kids could play Pokemon Go without having to go outdoors and risk being run over by a car because their heads were always down.

They grew six kinds of grapes and used old French recipes. The Chardonnay was especially succulent on a hot July day. What to name it? Colonel Rumplecheeks suggested

hammers on his bench util the cleaning lady gave them to charity. Jenkins the Leprechaun was not feeling too lucky at this point, and prayed for a rainbow under which he might

and paper cups of tepid chai latte with what used to be our initials in the foam. The universe looked at me, and I at it, and gradually the caffeine kicked in and

But alas, no intact feathers could be found. We did, however, have plenty of clowns. The Creepy Tent down the lane had been producing them at alarming rates. So we glued clowns

"I don't believe in caning anything, that's too violent, but I suppose I could live with reins, if you must," muttered Hilda the Horse. Frankly she was surprised that anyone had

Was that any reason to torment them further? So they took their cause to the streets, carrying signs that said : "Abnormal Americans Need Gloves to Cover Their Hideous Hands".

The Chief Llama called for an independence referendum for the elephants and cows. There was a rally at Fountain Square, where the Chief Llama spoke:

2 0 to leak from his eyes. Picking up steam at the flare of the nostrils and then careening into the canyonlike lip fold, the saltiness seeping past his pursed lips to tickle his

sashayed seductively into the Swinging Simian Social Soire and Salon where he was quickly Shanghai ed like last week's summer sausage and bound for ports unknow.

bolster the lumbering police state than to... He never did figure out how that sentence ended because just then he was called to take his driving test by Officer Imelda Paz.

this new philosophical territory. There was no question what the frontside looked like, any freshman philosophy student could describe the frontside, but the backside must be

the morning's events. I did not get far though because I kept coming back to that one moment when it all went sideways on me. The moment when I opened my eyes; the moment I awoke.

Universe from self imploding. It is a matter of when, not if." Neil de Grasse -Tyson had read the warnings at his email account. He was not prepared at all to be a cyborg, but the

"A General Theory of Oblivion". He was reputed to be a poetaster, so the audience didn't hold their breath. The Poetaster Council nominated for book of the year. But we digress...

Who cares if zombies made up over half the population? It's not all that different from back home. I organized a panel of experts to convince Hox that this would be a new start

I'm going piebald just thinking about it. Like Home Simpson I say "dough" and wait for help to arrive. Before long, someone slathers butter on my cracks with a pastry brush.

standing in my spot. Get. Out!" I wrenched away so harshly that some of the skin of my toes ripped. I hardly felt it at the time; I was eager to escape that terrifying maw. Mufasa