bishop, no novice when it came to such disturbances, commented about the wild nun's scapular, in the secret pub, in the catacombs 'neath St. Albans, "Saint Louis IX was a very fine

Why not roll back time to before I found my first intimate relationship? But I didn't feel validated by some gay community. He and his drugs made me feel like trash. Like nothing.

Ariela Conquest sometimes thought such lofty thoughts that her nose bled. On her deathbed, she told her sister Vanessa, "I leave you nothing but silence and the wound of my absence

like the gay couple in the show we saw. I'll be Buddy to your Surly and savor the kind of secret embrace that makes my fur stand on end and my whiskers tickle. A hidden side for me

The bloated orange baby was having another temper tantrum; Rosanne, similarly bloated from water retention, had a hot flash so bad it left her incontinent. "Retards!" Trump yapped.

Here's Johnny tonight / Muscular Dystrophy beer / This Alpo tastes good. People quoted the zine's haiku on the playgrounds, but mold spores at the Chinese printing plant spread to

As I watched my baby cousin open a Christmas present while wearing a mask I’m stuck by the realization that this is the Christmas of 2020 she’ll be talking about to her grandkids.

Schultz, even though he spoke his last words many years ago. Pero Krasnaya had never been a well man. This last episode had left him an even thinner shell of himself than he'd been

a fault, Minnie didn't realize that the IRS had been following her since the 1950's trying to get a glimpse of her hat's price tag, so that they could charge her property tax. But

-er weight champion Horace McGrezo also had eyes for Harold's sandwiches. As Harold and his wife argued, Horace tried to impress them by flexing his biceps, but the sandwiches were

“Looks like another case of remote trepanning gone awry,” Detective Joe Mima said over his shoulder to his partner, Detective Felicia “Nematode” Pnemnahdhotte Von O’MacDougal. “How

shot down by Camealot's scattershot accusations of shooting for the moon but killing his lover and secretary instead. What kind of weekend did you have planned? Don't answer that.

of white chocolate milk. When she finished, the Blue Lady had a milk mustache, covering up her real mustache. Stubby Boardman disagreed. "We're dealing with a nargle infestation!"

fun home cooking set. Johnny buries his sadness with the "healthiest" American pastime: Working for big corporations! Now Johnny has no time to worry about his mother's brain tumor

and buy some. I think I saw them on sale at Hoodlum Footwear. Man, those salesmen really know how to lay on the pressure. They kick you with their jack boots until you cough up the

Isn't it nice when you attain a dream? When his church wasn't in session, the monk practiced his chakra, then switched job classes to Blue Mage. Realizing travel would mean leaving

fell from Fluffy's pink eyes and salted his roasted carrot, which only made it taste all the better. "Don't cry," Gibber said kindly, "It'll ruin your diet." Zetawilk looked up

and possibly some strong government allies. But now penniless and a nobody, I hopped the rear door of a hoverbus and watched as the streets of the future sped dizzyingly by in a

need. Low and behold a very irritable genie magically appeared in a cloud of pink smoke. “Make it quick, I’m watched the season finale of Twin peaks,”

Then my principals are on the floor, forgotten and alone. Sometimes I fling my principles off a cliff so they can be as low as possible and I can do whatever moral absurdity I want