Then look at Clive. Clive is the Regional Manager for Mindnumbing Endeavors, Inc. He misfiled his Quarterlies as TPS Reports and cost the company 45 dollops. The acid dip cost 9.

At a certain point the Acid Dip starts losing its effectiveness as a deterrent and we're left with a staff of damaged people. Nancy, from HR, can't sit down. It effects her work.

Even after they dip your private parts in acid they are still going to expect a full 23 hours of work from you. They give you the hour in consideration for your loss. Then dock you

A little bit about myself. I didn't start out as a colonel. I was a Major Lingus. I was a Captain Lingus. I flew for Aer Lingus. No relation. I was a Private Lingus. Then I wasn't.

tanned horse hides being milled into flour. They had to tan them white before milling or it wouldn't visually blend with the wheat flour. The bakery used it untanned on St. Sulpice

I love how funny that last one ended up being on at least two levels. One, I was finished. Two, most people won't see that and accuse me of hypocrisy or whatever vice is trending.

I considered whether I needed a space before the shed. I felt I needed the distance. Distance for a complete thought. Something that told you it needed a period. It was over. Whole

There was a mix up already. He was supposed to be getting a haircut. Nobody called the barber to cancel. The barber had been picked up from his daughter's wedding. Some blood shed.

The stone cutter from that other dream was nervous. He had an appointment for his first ever dental examination. What if his dentist had a day like he did that one dream? What have

Before I die, I have to tell you the holy grail is there as well. I drank from it. It rejuvenated me then maybe it will work again. So remember, it is at Castle Arggggggggggggggggg

Oh no! I just saw it with my own two eyes. The Russians have hacked the AI datasets. I stumbled upon a online dossier for something called Castle Argggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

Obviously, I told them where to shove Bob Ewebanks, but that just left me with a headache from inhaling all that rotten food. Then the damn dog defecated on my hat and I upchucked

Richard Burton (during one of the times when they were married) often made Sailor Moon eyes at each other, and claimed to have invented Manga. They tried to sue the Japanese for

dare they get into MY business and publish the story of my life without my consent?! Even worse, I read it on The Hill, where a sexy but innocent young guy read the first few lines

The second time was out of the question, though, which I suppose I instinctively knew because I was to some extent a lightning being. The third time, however, could not be allowed

Isolde liked clean floors. She'd never had any growing up. When the Finlandia dissipated before reaching the floor she was disappointed. She looked at Tristan sternly. He smirked.

me on a train that delivered me to the Orphan's Home for Mimes in Luton. Sadly, your mimes that you weren't an orphan looked more like a tobacconist playing charades with a ferret

Our entanglements are what always gets us. Our loved ones. Our people. We're prepared to take the heat but they aren't or shouldn't have to be. When they do, we're often undone.

to New Zealand and start his own swamp, but they wouldn't let him in. "Sorry, no ogres," they said. So Shrek had to row his sad little canoe all the way to the southern tip of

disaster started out pleasantly enough. It was sunny with mild temperatures. People drank coffee and complained about their enemies. Then the ground began to shake, and a bed smell