"Yet, you knew exactly what I was here to abridge you for. Clairvoyant or not, you've just admitted culpability for my clients being excluded from any story by taking up the fold.

a ruckus with the lobsters over the bill. It was almost an hour before the mourners realized that had been it. The funeral was over. Many left hoping his next funeral was better.

being the father you couldn't be, it wasn't ever going to happen for you. Your chance to be on America's Got Talent done gone by on you Girl. Can't you be happy flipping burgers?"

had once heard a funny story about the rain and how it washed all the blood away. Look what his wool gathering had done him. It got him traipsing into politics again. Pasternak had

For instance, in that last two word sentence I I felt that it needed at least one comma. Make the case, then muddy the waters. That is the way I should have done it. I blame the

It has come to my attention [a place where ideas go to die] that I, being me, that is, the one claiming First Voice here, I … might use the comma too frequently. Haphazardly maybe.

parse dubious parameters when the day felt like a day for that type of thing to happen. This wasn't one of those days. So it couldn't parse them. VM17 was embarrassed, of course.

Alfred had his fist clenched by his leg. This clown was stepping all over his last nerve with his clown shoes and his clown nose and his whole clown rat race minutia. The World did

sup on the bounty of their enemies. Rona had fed Cory lies about how great a people were by how great their enemies were. Cory would prove those lies true by eating the king's head

-ming Banshee said it wasn't listed at Zohar's as a forbidden book. She had no idea why it would suddenly go missing like that. Ottokar Fischer's Illustrated Magic, John found was

One of his classmates, Andronicus, a hominid, had been watching Andreas closely after what he had said. When he crossed his arms Andronicus pointed out that he had 4 hairy armpits.

the computer. The computer took their chants and ran through a spiegle device hooked up to an Enochian Key and Up Rose The Devil! The game show crowd was agog to see Old Knob here.

leaned towards Nigel. McKinney saw this and rounded on Nigel. "Was this your idea Nigel! This ghastly idea smells like you!" Nigel slapped his hand on the desk. "It's your idea! We

I understand why god's first act as god was to establish his own cheering squad. The seraphim. Angels who's sole job was to praise him. "Fuck the algorithm," God said. Mic drop.

When I say "I've had people", I mean that I commanded people to say or do whatever I've said I had them say or do. I'd rather you know I'm all business than have you think me vain

You thought I looked like a bird? Like a phoenix maybe? I can see that. I've had people tell me that I look like a phoenix. They're very convincing. I guess it depends on how much

An on that happy note let us take a good look around us and see who is here with us today. Do I spy something blue? Maybe a bird. A blue bird of … ? "Oh, no, I'm a Scots. We paint

"I swear to you, I thought she was a ghost" has to become my new mantra. I know it is a lie but I can't handle the pity when I tell them the truth. She would rather be a ghost than

When Sergeant O'Garcia came around the corner, I was the only living in the vicinity. He tases me. I get convicted of accosting the living while living and theft of one umbrella.

I could be accosting my ghosts. "Well, there you are, I'm a real ghost. Help, I'm being accosted by the living!" And she ran off into the rain. I was still holding her umbrella for