You know what they say: Big feet, big ...er...heart. Everywhere I went, women ogled my clown shoes and winked. Chad had to strip all the way down to get any attention, but all I

Wanda the Anaconda was wondering when Gwen and Glen would wet their whistles with whisky. Why worry wantonly when waste not want not. The wretched wizard wise guy Westly went west.

The 1st time I died wasn't all BAM then float away softly like all the others say it was for them. In fact, none of my deaths have ever been like that. Sarge says I invest too much

They changed the United States Constitution in 2026. A felony conviction would no longer disqualify a candidate for President. They also added a discretionary nepotism rule. Which

My morning ablutions done, I found myself with an hour of unexpected leisure. I left my phone on the picnic table and meandered down into the forest. I hadn't crossed over in ages.

What was important was that Glint Westrock was dead. He'd been poisoned by the future. Det. Manatee could see future residue on Glint's lips. "The question is did he die now or in

told her to cancel the porn shoot & to meet me at the corner of Opportunity & ChaChing streets, STAT! No questions. She knew what to do. When "Pugsley" & "Wednesday" walked into an

I’ve never noticed that the song “I’m Gonna Run To You” by Bryan Adams is a catchy paeon to justify his cheating on his wife. It’s her fault. He shouldn’t be expected to honor vows

flying cars, and social consciousness! Yes, the people of my new universe were to be technologically advanced, and STILL pay taxes! I was going to win at this game, and so would

Captain Crimson’s undocumented alien parents left him for dead, at birth, inside a radioactive plutonium lab; where, instead of dying, he became a famous crime-fighting superhero.

-ain Sassifras was more than eager to share his sardines-and-prune-juice recipes, as he had once been the ship's cook, before making his way up to Captain. I explained that Hugo

I was rocking out to the biofreeze spitting out my calamities. Wondering where the crow flys, after he’s brought them to their knees, brought them to their knees. Invoking infamy

of wake-127b & their fight to not be considered owed by owners 32 light years away. An ownership claim made by fiat. Decades before it became feasible to travel to their property.

The ink spots on his Dunce Cap gave him away; Me, myself, and I was his reply to everything, yet I liked the guy: his cars were lavish, his wife was a MILF, and he was best friends

The Living Off The Dead Ones was my pre-K punk ska band. I played lead kazoo. My teacher, Miss Chartreuse, kept the beat on her hatbox. The Mudd twins played bass on their braids.

Working the graveyard shift as the morgue like I do, I get lots of time to ponder the bodies coming in. The live ones, the dead ones, the undead ones, the living dead ones, etc.

It was raining and the early evening shadows were vying to be the darkest. I was out walking trying to get myself lost. It was a lost cause it seemed. I was a lost cause, I told my

He and the nubile girl with flowers in her hair called Kim had side marital sex in their own zero gravity diaper. He floated over to the crusty section of the Bezos Space Stocking.

Abraxos Hemlock was some sort of uncle to Muscaria Hemlock. Those who tried to find the true connections soon found their own graves. The word "infernal" was often used to describe

"You really believe in that shit, that, "Do what thy wilt shall be the whole Law" shit," McKenna asked her roomie, Karandash Krasnaya, of the Portsmouth Karandashes. Kras turned to