"Eyes On" division of the Secret Service. Argus didn't mind having a desk job after a tour of bigoted younglings shining their phone lights in all his eyes. But that damn Kev at

them actually read Stapledon and all the post-Frank-Herbert Dune novels. "The thing is, Mrs. Ott, we actually are Plastic Eaters. Why are you Earth people so twitchy about these

. They incinerated us with their love blaze and after that they were on their on, at least in the incarnate dimension. "Holy heck!" said Maria. "Who will feed us now?!" Jairo knew

"Sidney Powell, it was so nice of you to accept my invitation." The Kraken was as gracious as he was purportedly monstrous. "Of course you didn't know any better, but

zquffE kept telling me the sounds the Earthling was making was some attempt at communication. I thought as well, at first. Looking closer, we discovered it made sounds from various

but Phil said he would not allow it. He and only he would name his firstborn. "He's my firstborn too," Betty insisted. Phil looked at Betty. He loved his wife. "I may name the 12th

When I misplaced my face at the wall, I had to get a surrogate personality for the day. I'm on my third regen and this was the first time I've ever had to use one of those. Icky.

-ed at me like a drunken Quaker who just found a "belly warmer" in his bed. Just this one time fornicating on my ship is allowed. He, Prometheus, brother-in-law of Pandora, would

red, as the curtains did in fact match the drapes. The Princess nearly threw up in mouth. "Okay, okay! You can have my firstborn child! Just please do not make me do this!"

"Don't be so parsimonious with the praise now witch doctor Ted," she said. He flinched because he knew she knew how to twist the blade much more. She was toying with him, he knew.

-stead of it's intended landing target on the plains of Titan. The astrocows smell brisket and realize their mistake just in time to over-ride the cowship's autopilot and land on

your Mom. Anyway, as I was saying, as the seaweed casserole is baking, slice three igneous rocks into this ribbons with a laser, douse with kerosene and pepper liberally. This will

He felt the pull of the string at the back of his neck and heard a voice that was not his own, nor was it his client. Outside, perched on a trash can, a discarded Danny O'Day doll

He was a Murder Hornet, she was an Africanized honeybee. Science, the queen, biology - all said their love would not last, that it was just a buzz in the night, but they proved

The pub was small and dimly lit, but its toilet was spacious, well-lit, with bidets. It was the kind of place where history oozed from the walls - fights, mates, fights with mates,

with that he spun the ship back around, so the dead one could be buried in his place of birth. But Neptune had other ideas. The great sea god had no intention of honoring the

but when you're near me, I'm in the Mood for Love". "OMG! Take off that witch's face, Susan," I scolded my little rat friend, "before you accidentally cast a spell!" Just then, a

was running. At 11:58 the Unabomber shouts, "Mr. President please sign our pardons." The President stops and gives the Unabomber the fuzzy eye. He harangues him for 3 minutes. Then

"I'm ashamed of how I am living. But being the selfish prick that I am, I am ashamed of me more. So, yes, I will have fries with that. No, make it chili cheese fries with gravy."

The cat walked away. "Ok, you can tell me later if it comes up." All the time knowing that his walking away made it a certainty it would not come up. Then I remember where he lives