Papa Smurf had fallen in love, I mean summer camp level "in love" with Red Riding Hood when she came skipping through the forest. She'd smashed his mushroom house but

My management philosophy consists of hiring complete imbeciles and then riding herd on every last little thing that they do to make sure that they don't screw it up too badly. This

Miral opened her closet to a dead body falling out. She screamed, and turned the body around, and realized it was

Let me see if I can phrase this better. "Vertical Line, forward-slash, vertical line, space, circle." Can you take a hint? Morse code: dah-dit dah-dah-dah. Got it?

"It's not a TUBAH!" shouted the Austrian botanist. "It's a drupe!"

"So you like those fake plastic beach ball type hooters?" "What do they call your boobs? Broken ballast tanks?" "We'll at least my manboobs are organically grown." "Puff daddy!"

I have to include my part of the science report before the conference began!

He looked at them, torn. A blonde, a brunette and a raven-haired beauty. They all gazed at him in expectation, waiting for him to choose one of them. He knits his brow and finally

kaydee the ninja started to run the pizza parlor his children, 7 foster, 3 adopted, 6 born, 4 guirdaned and 4 animals aka pet puppies. he was ninja pizza man, saving the world!

The statue of Phatty McButterpants is proudly displayed on my parents fireplace mantel. It's an embarrassing story, but since I've gotten you this far, I'll tell you. Phatty was my

The alluring appeal of alliteration rendered Ed's eulogy effectively illiterate. The congregation cringed as Ed began: "Bob began banging busty Broadway broads before beginning big

Spam Baby wanted a Creamsicle, but nobody in this dimension had ever heard of one.

Due to tribal social pressures, I have agreed to publicly celebrate the pair-bond relationship with my mate. I have prepared an offering of severed plant genitalia, dyed wood pulp,

The Brothers Grozny went their separate ways. Ero developed starships, Arno became a DJ-shaman, and Barto suffered in poverty until he could walk between worlds, as Granny Grozna a

Felix Underbutton danced in the spring air. He twirled down Aspen Lane, the scent of Beatrice's hand filling him with joy. But the small, swarthy gentleman respected her marriage a

I turned on the traditional yule log on my UHF station. There was the bright fire crackling with light carols playing in the background. Suddenly, feet stumbled across the screen.

Our eyes met for a moment. I looked away. We were meant for each other but she made me so nervous that I sometimes felt sick. "Your shoe's untied," she looked at my name tag, "Bob"

I knew one day this would come, the lettuce finally took her sweet revenge! As her great leafy head loomed over my sprawled limbs I begged her, "oh merciful lettuce creature,do you

The word CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait…

'Are you a punctuation mark?' 'Yes.' 'Are you a subatomic particle?' 'Yes.' 'Are you an amusement park ride?' 'Yes.' 'Are you an interplanetary magnetic field?' 'Yes.'