What's your mighty, what's the party, go to go to Matty Lottie but you gatti gatti patty patty patty patty patty

So the parrot says. "Listen Doc, my last.." Oh sorry times up for the monologue. My first guest this evening is a sub-par looking actress with limited talent staring in a mediocre

Give me garlic bread. I like garlic bread.

Stepping into his apartment, Steve noticed for the first time that there was a grey squirrel sitting on his sofa, right where he swore the night before he had left his prized

I figured I'd take this guidance counselor meeting seriously for once. I wanted a job that maximized money/effort. I didn't care about fame, integrity, or "happiness". I want money

Mom was dead. I couldn't believe it. I wish I never

I am happy about starting a new job this week, but now I have to figure out how I can keep folding stories at my desk without anyone knowing. It is possible they may be monitoring

Apologies for my inevitable rambling account of my best friend Frank, but there's so much to say that it's going to be difficult to put it in any sort of order whatsoever. Frank is

Jarrod Quatermain examined the tatters fluttering on the ruins. "The old ones still remember. The young ones still hope." No, not good, he thought, and logged it in his timestick.

Thinking that, if Popeye gained temporary super-strength from eating spinach, I might gain a superpower from ingesting a common vegetable, I began to eat nothing but lima beans for

"Bah humbug." Scrooge said. Thanksgiving was a sham. He threw turkey at townspeople and went home smiling. That evening, he was visited by three birdbrained ghosts. Chains rattled

Men in tights jumping and twirling around stage with sugar plum fairies. It's Nutcracker season again. Every year I suffer through it. The only good part of the whole damn show is

Don't add to this folding story!

This Christmas, I asked myself a very important question: "Has anything about me changed? Why do I still hate the world? And where's the turkey?" But this time, it'll be different.

When you wait for the cable guy, you get bored. When you get bored, you start staring out of windows. When you stare out of windows, you see things you shouldn't see. When you see

It was the moment Sisyphus had been dreading - performance reviews. Beelzebub tapped a clipboard. "Well, Sissy, it looks like today's your lucky day. You've been reassigned to

One afternoon the Dalai Guru of Reincarnation got hopped up on lemongrass chiffon and made a few bad decisions.

Valetta was a hidden ruby amongst the jetsam of womankind. She was a whore in the bedroom, a cook in the kitchen & something else somewhere else... fill in the gaps yourself. Men w

I looked tomy dock and thought that I saw Travis Mcgee and Myer sitt5ing topside of the "Busted Flush", but no. Travis and company were from the never were, and ravis and company

Diarrhea Planet was now the 10th planet in our solar system. School teachers were baffled at this new scientific development and scientists' odd choice of name. The planet, made of