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  • 39
    Avatar
    The thing about Abe Froman was that it was all about sausages. Sausage this and sausage that. One time I said, "knock, knock?" And he said, "Sausage, now shut your mouth."
    Finished
    2020-03-25 19:53:08
    Took
    6 years, 265 days, 19 hours, 53 minutes, 47 seconds
  • 10
    Avatar
    for the stingee is severe. For at precisely 80.192836419421291 degrees a bee's stinger gets a POWER UP and upgrades to a spreader stinger, doing three times the normal damage.
    Finished
    2022-12-12 14:37:29
    Took
    6 years, 266 days, 21 hours, 45 minutes, 15 seconds
  • 39
    Avatar
    Something interesting is happening here. Have you noticed? The seemingly endless supply of letters, words, and language is running out. There are only so many available. With each
    Finished
    2020-02-10 13:17:46
    Took
    6 years, 268 days, 10 hours, 13 minutes, 21 seconds
  • 28
    Avatar
    Barty, as the locals called him, round as he was tall and lived on the grounds of the oldest monastery in Britain. When he didn't show up for Mass, the town took notice.
    Finished
    2021-10-27 17:06:16
    Took
    6 years, 269 days, 23 hours, 23 minutes, 41 seconds
  • 33
    Avatar
    Isla double-checked--pouring vodka on her rice crispies wasn't listed as one of the seven habits of highly people.
    Finished
    2020-12-04 18:58:42
    Took
    6 years, 271 days, 19 hours, 57 minutes, 50 seconds
  • 21
    Avatar
    A large proportion of society will keep paperclips in their desk top drawer. I like to do things differently when organising my office desk. I have a pig shaped paperclip dispenser
    Finished
    2020-01-27 13:01:12
    Took
    6 years, 272 days, 2 hours, 3 minutes, 16 seconds
  • 17
    Avatar
    So, it's time again. The moon's satellite station, sending down yet another carbon rod to the surface. Rising up above the horizon a distant flare of light shone as bright as
    Finished
    2020-01-15 15:34:43
    Took
    6 years, 273 days, 16 hours, 40 minutes, 35 seconds
  • 6
    Avatar
    Hey guys. I'm a frog. A like to eat some pizza. That may sounds a little strange, but
    Finished
    2020-03-04 20:14:49
    Took
    6 years, 274 days, 14 hours, 59 minutes, 40 seconds
  • 52
    Avatar
    Europa, dazzled by the beauty of the white bull, let it lick her hand. Then tipping its horns the bull (aka Zeus) rolled her onto its back and plunged into the ocean towards Asia.
    Finished
    2019-11-26 18:11:55
    Took
    6 years, 275 days, 18 hours, 37 minutes, 8 seconds
  • 10
    Avatar
    "I have in my hand The Last Burrito." He paused for effect as he displayed it to the TEDx audience. "This, ladies and gentleman, is The Burrito of the Eschaton." They gasped and st
    Finished
    2023-01-10 07:57:10
    Took
    6 years, 276 days, 17 hours, 24 minutes, 36 seconds
  • 36
    Avatar
    Today was the day it would stop. Yes today was the day for it to stop. It should of never started in the first place.
    Finished
    2020-03-07 23:05:48
    Took
    6 years, 276 days, 18 hours, 42 minutes, 45 seconds
  • 16
    Avatar
    The literary whale typed the last sentence, dove straight into the currents and swam amongst a bunch of severed arms wearing mitts. A singlet floated by and then an enhanced
    Finished
    2020-04-07 22:03:24
    Took
    6 years, 276 days, 22 hours, 10 minutes, 34 seconds
  • 44
    Avatar
    "I don't mind you coming here and wasting all my time. I don't mind you hanging out and talking in your sleep. I guess you're just what I needed."
    Finished
    2020-05-22 14:59:53
    Took
    6 years, 278 days, 15 hours, 27 minutes, 44 seconds
  • 27
    Avatar
    In 2346, Mr.T formed the 56th A-Team, composed by himself, John Wayne, Gary Cooper and Robert de Niro.
    Finished
    2021-09-11 15:03:27
    Took
    6 years, 278 days, 19 hours, 10 minutes, 53 seconds
  • 68
    Avatar
    I'd take headphones over a concert any day, but dad wanted me to get a realer metal concert experience. A black blur, he entered my room violently enough to break the mosh barrier.
    Finished
    2020-05-26 15:24:29
    Took
    6 years, 282 days, 1 hour, 21 minutes, 58 seconds
  • 39
    Avatar
    "Yo." I waved my hand in front of the girl's face. No response. Great. Here I was, stranded in the middle of nowhere, with only a pencil in my pocket and a comatose girl.
    Finished
    2020-04-06 23:21:36
    Took
    6 years, 282 days, 17 hours, 20 minutes, 22 seconds
  • 22
    Avatar
    1,2,3,pin,5,6,7,pin,9,10,11,pin,13,14,15,pin,17,
    Finished
    2020-04-23 21:48:51
    Took
    6 years, 283 days, 22 minutes, 24 seconds
  • 54
    Avatar
    Jimmy Crow was one with pretty much everyone. Unlike other ghostwriters, he dressed as his clients and took their wives to dinner. Today's assignment was for a Teen Zine journalist
    Finished
    2020-04-11 11:59:45
    Took
    6 years, 284 days, 12 hours, 23 minutes, 43 seconds
  • 49
    Avatar
    When I made an involuntary exit from anesthesia I was disturbed to discover my surgeon, Dr. Mallard wearing google glass and googling appendectomy whilst elbow deep in my giblets.
    Finished
    2020-04-11 10:19:43
    Took
    6 years, 284 days, 12 hours, 27 minutes, 8 seconds
  • 32
    Avatar
    It flew towards me with an altogether unexpected trajectoral persuasion. I reached out and it landed with a dull thump in my palm. Then I saw that it was
    Finished
    2021-12-06 07:14:01
    Took
    6 years, 284 days, 12 hours, 35 minutes, 46 seconds
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