As I sat there with the dessert menu I thought back to that summer day I'd made myself sick eating the whole bucket of blueberries and the folks at the church picnic never got

I'm not sure anyone was really surprised the day I screamed some pretty colorful new curse words at my boss, quit my job, and ran off to join the circus.

It was the summer of July, 1986. That's where it all began.

I was distracted by the unpeeled orange on the counter. I thought, who would leave an orange unpeeled like this? What kind of monster? What kind of sick, twisted, evil, wicked

Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to dis a brie? I cheddar the world and the feta cheese. Everybody's lookin' for stilton.

The girl on the radio sang, "He has South Dakota arms," and I have no idea what that could possibly mean. Why not North Dakota arms? Are his arms on the Mt. Rushmore of arms? Help!

Hurry! Wrap the coffin with blood soaked string! Quickly! light sage incense! and now for the sticky rice! INSTANT?

Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. Womp. went the big ghastly

"I'm lonely." he lamented in desperation. "I'm missing people in my life. I need someone." He turned to face me. I could only stare at him, speechless. He turned towards the window

I assure you, Mrs. Buttle, the Ministry is very scrupulous about following up and eradicating any error. If you have any complaints which you'd like to make, I'd be more than

Twas the night before the birthing, and all through the tent, nothing was stirring, not even 50cent. 50Cent was 2busy mixing martinis 2worry about the c section happening 1 tent ov

Mother always said "Don't play with your food" but this is a matter of life & death. But to complete the magic I need a ripe mango. Where in this carnage will I find exotic fruit?

Abruptly,the onomatopoeia rolled off his feral tongue and he kept mooing to the girl sitting on the steps to the brick town house,as she smiled most condescentingly.

Although euros have a light hint of cresote, nothing can compare to the smoky aroma of a burning hundred dollar billl.

The butterfly landed on the flower, it's wings threatening to sail away in the wind. But the ant, in the stamen looked up and said something really harsh. "Is it true that

Feeling challenged to begin a story that doesn't contain the "p word" I transport you to a planet inhabited only a species of sentient vegetatively propagating flatworms: Flatland.

I went to the park with my friends .when, we got there, we saw a alive trees uprooting itself and coming towards us with a rocket launcher and a guitar playing with it .........

Gaston sucked his biro. He really wanted to sign the 'Don't Touch My Whore' petition, but what if his wife found out?

"Hot damn boy, you could sell ice to Eskimos!" cackled Grandpa as I handed him the money. Three long weeks I'd spent putting that deal together and now it seemed

I drew the robe tightly about me and settled down for a nice long nap. But the robe was not a robe. It was a piece of military technology designed to kill me. Awwwkwwarrdd....