"Rodger me with a halibut!" screamed the headmaster. Head Boy Lionel Throckmorton began caning any and all Prefects within range, while Ms. Carwell, the newly appointed French

How cool would it be if we had access to historical accounts of massive blunders and successes throughout history? Such a resource could really come in handy. Instead, we're

"I am Princess Harriet of the Noctis Empire. From this you may surmise that I am not of your world. You would be correct. I come from another dimension. I have reason to believe

"So, how do you do this again?" I asked him, staring down at the equation scribbled on my paper.

Please place towel on the floor if you need a new one. As a small step to saving the environment, we suggest you use your champagne chiller as a penis beaker. -The Hotel Staff.

Our village's peace was shattered one pleasant autumn day when Lady Constance and Reverend Parkins nearly came to blows over the topic of green tea. The repercussions of that dis

They call me Dirk and I call them bastards. All of them. If hate was metal, they'd be in chains right now. My thoughts alone could boil the flesh off their bones.

I have all the Elton John life-size collectable "living dolls" from the Tyrell Corporation. My favorite is Tiny Dancer - she's SO tiny, only comes up to my knee, and holds me

As Lee-Lee typed her latest fold, she wondered if writing about yawning affected anyone else as it affected her as she covered her mouth with her hand to hide another yawn.

I didn't plan on becoming a courtesan. But when I met the Comte de Camembert at the Opera de Ville, I couldn't resist his offers of chateaux, gold Louis and fine stallions. Helas!

It is a guilty secret of modern psychology that more is understood about the motivation of thirsty rats & hungry pecking pigeons as they press levers than is known about how poets

"But professor, ma'am, you're half-asleep!" "Heh, I can do science in my sleep. Being merely half-asleep is just overkill." She tongued her lucky prosimian skull and mixed the blue

There once lived a tiny little hippo on a tiny littleland. He lived with his tiny little friend. One day there came a tiny little eagle and took the hippos tiny little friend.

"Am I prolix?" asked the small shrimpy animancule swimming in the gloop. "Perhaps 'less is more' should be my mantra from now on." Smiling ever so slightly it flicked its pinkish

They say life is a lesson - one you learn a little at a time. Well, he had always been a slow learner. And now he was paying for it. Whoever it was knocked a third time.

This grandma wanted to revive the corpse of Dean Martin for one last drink.

"Awesome dude! We found your toe! You'll be famous. We'll put the vid on youtube & send your toe to Dawson City." "I want my toe back." "No way, Finder's keepers. You can drink it!

Aristocrats from all around gathered in Kensington Hall to determine whose china was gleamiest. Madam Paddingston set her chip-and-dip serving china on the judging table. Gasps of

I was at an avant garde concert. It was super quiet & then BANGBANGBANG!! a helluva noise. The 6 month foetus in my womb starjumped into my lungs. Would that permanently affect it?

A wave of sadness overcame me. I knew it. It was over. What once was, had died, withered away into nothing. I didn't even have the power to conjure up tears, all I could do was