If I was going to be the best horse-whisperer

If I was going to be the best horse-whisperer in the world, I needed to get rid of the competition. First target: Robert Redford.

But how do I find Robert Redford? If I'm going to kill him so that I can be in the best horse whisperer in the world then maybe I should start looking in Sundance Film Festival

When I finally got to Sundance and killed The Horse Whisperer, so much time had passed a new nemesis had arisen: Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer. I I hitchhiked back to L.A.

noticing the ubiquitous whisperings into animals' ears by shady & unctuous figures. Had a conspiracy begun? Were the Whisperers preparing an army of pets? They must be destroyed.

But where were they to be found? A fad of shadow people whispering to all the animals in the world, and every animal save for the humans disappeared. The Whisperers remained, and I

was losing it. The animals gone? I had to raise up a revolt against the Whisperers. I cannot let them get away with mind bending the lower species without a battle. It would be

something... and yet, there was a new feeling of peace and quietness in my anger thoughts that made me stop. Incredibly, it was

a girl who saved me from my madness. I felt the frenzy slip away and the world lost its angry green glare. As I shrunk to my normal self, I realized who this girl was. It was Br

as I'd lost my pen. I would dip her pigtails into the ink wells and write. I never did find my pen but thankfully I saved money on having to buy a new one.