Something glowed in the dark by the bed.

  • Something glowed in the dark by the bed. "Whats that?" I asked my wife. It darted forward. I grabbed a slipper to crush it. "Wait it's a Lucihormetica luckae! The last of its kind

  • !" And it was now squished on the bottom of my slipper. But wait! The Lucihormetica luckae's legs were still moving! "Give it CPR!" my cockroach-loving wife screamed.

  • I bent down to help the cockroach. Iit was speaking in the unmistakable tones of my business partner Ronnie 'OMG' Delaney. What business we were in, he wouldn't tell me & now this!

  • "Ronnie," I squealed. "How come you're a cockroach now?". "I met a hard of hearing genie." "Wow, what did you really wish for?". He was reticent about this. So we went to Starbucks

  • which was our solution for everything. A sweet, frothy overpriced coffee drink. It made everything better. I touched Ronnie's hand and said, "Go ahead, get a madeline."

  • "Sounds heavenly, but I'll order a Diet Coke on the rocks. The leanness of my thighs is a national treasure." "It's MY treasure now, Ronnie," I told him. The madeline I'd poisoned

  • sat on the plate at Ronnie's elbow. Ronnie sipped his diet coke & smirked at me. "Eat your cookie, dear, your thighs can take it." I said. But in my head I changed DIE! DIE! DIE!

  • I felt ashamed of myself for thinking such thoughts about someone I was supposed to love. She ate the cookie and immediatly her thighs swelled up and she looked obese. I guess her

  • name was thunder thighs after all

  • Still can't find the wet spot



  1. Sloth Dec 05 2014 @ 20:44

    Oh my goodness no. "Give it CPR!" my cockroach-loving wife screamed." I'm dead. Very funny Professor.

  2. SlimWhitman Dec 06 2014 @ 05:25

    The whole Ronnie OMG Delaney story: http://foldingstory.com/xabnz/

  3. PurpleProf Dec 06 2014 @ 23:11

    Haha! Thanks, Sloth. I don't even remember writing this one...

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