Something glowed in the dark by the bed.

Something glowed in the dark by the bed. "Whats that?" I asked my wife. It darted forward. I grabbed a slipper to crush it. "Wait it's a Lucihormetica luckae! The last of its kind

!" And it was now squished on the bottom of my slipper. But wait! The Lucihormetica luckae's legs were still moving! "Give it CPR!" my cockroach-loving wife screamed.

I bent down to help the cockroach. Iit was speaking in the unmistakable tones of my business partner Ronnie 'OMG' Delaney. What business we were in, he wouldn't tell me & now this!

which was our solution for everything. A sweet, frothy overpriced coffee drink. It made everything better. I touched Ronnie's hand and said, "Go ahead, get a madeline."

"Sounds heavenly, but I'll order a Diet Coke on the rocks. The leanness of my thighs is a national treasure." "It's MY treasure now, Ronnie," I told him. The madeline I'd poisoned

sat on the plate at Ronnie's elbow. Ronnie sipped his diet coke & smirked at me. "Eat your cookie, dear, your thighs can take it." I said. But in my head I changed DIE! DIE! DIE!

I felt ashamed of myself for thinking such thoughts about someone I was supposed to love. She ate the cookie and immediatly her thighs swelled up and she looked obese. I guess her

name was thunder thighs after all

Still can't find the wet spot