Wrestle Mania was blaring from the Taverns

Wrestle Mania was blaring from the Taverns flat screen at full volume. Stale beer and tobacco odors cloyingly hung in the air. A breeze from the front door lifted the tutu's of

Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin. This was there hickville Cotillion. The hall was decked out with taxidermied javalena, bass and badgers. Instead of

regular utensils, there were sporks and Gerber Freeman fixed blades. The cotillion appetizers were Slim Jims, pork rinds and Tater Tots, with all the Cheez Whiz you could spray

with both hands. I grumbled along with the other guests but in reality I was in hog heaven. I was just polishing off my second pork rind - Cheez Whiz sandwich when an old

smobile driven by David Oreck crashed through the wall. He approached me with an Oreck XL vacuum cleaner and said, "I hear you've been making a mess." I noticed the pork crumbs and

globules of lard on David Oreck's person. He pointed his vacuum at me. I was still in my E-Z chair with a wineglass full of grapejuice. I leapt to my feet and dodged sideways,

said,"No," picking at his navel. David Oreck had a shocking amount navel debris. He invented a mini vacuum, but he put it in his belly button and untied it and his legs fell off.

With no legs David Oreck became concerned he would become a suspect in a South African murder. He needed to grow new legs and fast! David Oreck researched stem cell technology

but soon realized that everything we think is real exists in a vacuum. He sucked himself inside and at last was at peace. From dust we all came and to dust we shall return.