Finished Folds (5401—5420)
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2evening, while we are all lounging around in our polyester leisure suits, we heard strains of MacArthur Park coming from the valley. Rising from our lethargy, we waited until the
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4I threw down my bucket and mop and walked out right there and then.I had other skills they didn't know about. For one thing,I was an accomplished armpit musician. Why, I could play
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5froze. Then & (always the peacemaker of the keyboard) tried to mediate before Tab and Enter walked away from negotiations. "F#@!% YOU!" cried Shift suddenly and all hell broke
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4is my middle name.That is, if flies had middle names.I flew into Ahmadinejad's study then to see what plans he had next to annihilate America. And you would never guess who was in
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1Kanye West. And that, dear friends, is the story of how the Right Wing finally got their revenge.Kanye West's remains were discovered a century later, curled up beside Jimmy Hoffa.
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4the black hole, apron strings streaming behind and mewling kittens tumbling all around me into the abyss.When I gained consciousness I found myself in Willie Nelson's garage. Cool.
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3the Reindeer Barn.Damn! Blitzen died and no one had noticed for a few days.Vixen was inconsolable and the inebriated elves were no help at all. Global Warming ruined the North Pole
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3become really annoyed, sit up, and say, "Stop poking me with that cheese." Interesting. The alien on the operating table seemed innocuous enough, but when he poked it with some
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3of his left nostril, leaving a trail of phlegm across his face. When folding a random story, one must be willing to reveal the most disgusting human truths. She licked it off and
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6sausage tasted delicious, however, but needed a little Tabasco. Ice Beast's new career as a food critic for the Times-Picayune was his dream come true. Boudin was his favorite
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5pretending to have erections (in his pants) just to shock the little old ladies at the church. I had to face the truth. My fiance had a thing for women over 70. He wanted them to
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3In fact, if one more person asked her if she wanted a cracker, she just might beat her head against the cage until she was dead. Were there antidepressants for parrots? Polly
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3Heeeeeyyy...gimme 5, man! But Robo wouldn't. He was programmed to not recognize fives. He stood there awkwardly, peering at Steve, wondering why he stood there with one arm up
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4butt was gone now, gone forever. Porky would miss the way she'd nuzzle him with slop when he least expected it. Farmer Brown was gonna get what was comin' to him. Porky waited
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4Therapeutic Holiday Story # 1: It all began when Dickie, my brother-in-law, leaned across the dinner table, stared straight at me and murmured, "I'll have a thigh."
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6at the OPI executives who were trying to break through the picket line at the nail salon. No one could speak Vietnamese, though, so we gave up and went out for some good pho.
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4The event planner made a huge error, however, when she booked the National Organization for Women convention at the same time the Lucy pilgrimage arrived. Damn, it ended ugly.
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4My egg grew heavy and my flight screwed in. I had to flop for tonight.There she stood in the whoreway. I heard the fusion smell. And I was crinkin' to myself this could be Kevin or
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3All Rita was trying to do was give poor Lt. Dan a chance to drive again,to let him feel the desert wind through his hair. She forgot all about how since he had no legs, he couldn't
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3and porc out. Sounds good? OK! Then that is exactly what we will do.