Finished Folds (81—100)
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2throughout the zoo. Did they not know the recent federal regulations against allowing maine mammals to assist in live human births? Does Obama have to regulate EVERYTHING in
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4getting physically watching my own video. God, I am the most amazing karate ballroom dancer ever! What can I say?! I LOVE to dance and kick ass!
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8determine the best way to convince her to try out for the sequel to Jersey Boys ... Jersey Girls. But damn, the music of the Susan Powers is so amazing I get a woody every time
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5Luckily, hearing can be restored. This is unlike taste, that the Kardashians have proven one either is born with or not, and it can't be bought. The boy couldn't hear me say this
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2the hottest folder ever, and maybe she would be able to see beyond my conjoined twin self. Ugh, I hate him ... he loves to eat raw onions, and he is always telling me his penis is
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4Teacher Juice!" I snuck behind my desk and swigged some Highland Park Scotch. Oh sweet Jesus, help me not strangle another 1st grader this year. They might catch me this time if
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4This was sounding oddly like a typical 1980's James Bond film, so Barney Ross immediately agreed to go in hopes that he could get an awesome car and bag some hot babes.
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4to his favorite Tom Jones song ever, "It's not unusual." The room was on its feet, but since they were Chinese, he could see over everyone & blow a kiss to his love, Kim Jong Un
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8"sir, don't you know the RIGHT way to smuggle animals on international flights is in your pants, not your attache case?" What an awesome flight attendant thought Mr. Whitman. He
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2ing to my bunions, and my thighs burned from the chaffing of my Chubbies short short. Ugh, if ONLY I had worn my 80's parachute pants and Nike hot tops instead. The singing
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6OMG, was he shanked or shived?! The room was dumbfounded. We all stopped to look up the answer. Apparently you can shiv someone, but then you yourself are shanked. OH thank god
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5able to tell the future of a palm tree by reading its leaves. She could tell you if the tree was going to perish in a hurricane, fire, neglect, or insects. Mary, as a palm reader
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8I rested the quickly assembled bazooka on my right shoulder and fired. Red Swedish fish were propelled out and punctured a hole in my apt wall. Well, the directions were Swedish.
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5e him, and then it struck me - Harrison Ford. Well, I lived in Harrison, OH, drove a Ford, and the cute little guy rested alone in my hand. Plus, I thought he could wear a vest.
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5pulled the monkey out of his pants and begged me to sneak it into the country on his behalf. Wow, who would have guessed the border agent could get that big of a monkey into his
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1all over the bar, and shorted out the solar-powered jumping elephant. Some of the blood spotted the hamapple pizza, which oddly improved the taste. Perhaps being bitten by a vamp
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1speed dialed my old friend Capt Kangaroo. Moose answered and explained that the Capt had set sail a couple years back. I shed a tear and threw some ping-pong balls on myself befo
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2to discuss the merits of Go-Kart racing and the number of tuba players struck by lightening at Kings Island last year. But, I digress. Let's just all admit he's fat and likes to
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6gummy rat I saw teasing me in the front window. The Seraph winked and telepathically told me of something greater than the gummy rat & giant pixiestix ... a talking swedish fish.
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2ME Nemo, damn you!" SuperClam shook his sugar glider like he liked to throttle baby seals. Finally CodGoblin the sugar glider admitted that he hi Nemo in a long and dark