Finished Folds (701—720)
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4Dunkaroos!/ A panoply of fondues!/ I'm diabetic." Haikus were easy, but were they sensible enough to meet his sensibility standards? The teacher analyzed my work. "Why do the fond
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2"'Briefly'? Surely you jest," the teacher would say to him. "A more thorough skimming of the primary sources would show that Harry Potter's encounters with [name removed]
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4I mean, do they really NEED refrigerators? What extravagance, what luxury, I bet they even have food in there. Centuries ago, poor people didn't have refrigeration. I hate progress
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4suspicious of all these "labs" and "chem 101 classes" and feared the worst. Science had to be weeded out. She hypothesized that her powers of faith, magic, and miracles would work
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4They'd leave vulgar messages in the sand with their tire tracks.The indigenous Rover clan of Mars had ostracized our Nasa Rover diplomats, and chaos reigned. My real estate scheme
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5When I couldn't pay the bill, the Bed & Breakfast in Bed made me do the dishes. "Urgh, now I'll miss my reservation at the Futon & Lunch on Futon." I picked at egg scraps to sate
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7make an oil change from canola to peanut. I also recommend the Handsyman's Pesto: Just repeat instructions for the Handyman's Pesto, but replace all verbs with caressing. Impress
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4there was a bucket of IOU's. And his charms offered no luck on their own, but were as subject to chance and randomness as the next clover. This must be a lepre-con. I feel cheated
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6realized her vajayjay was only a weekly special, and I couldn't afford market price anyway. I wanted to return the gift for something a bit more fo sho, like a warranty or insur
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14be tyrants to the antfolk, enslaving them and forcing them to carry our luggage? I guess there are many bad possible futures, so I must destroy either possibility or the future.
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4-inst his cat in a heated arch-off, Archibald failed to see his arch-nemesis, Straight Harry, paralellizing his tea cups. "How can I meet my 'arch' quota now? Are there synonyms
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6This is because Earth had never produced anything of galactic merit. The Exonerator sent Communications agents to Earth to revitalize the arts. They brought zorgophones and bongos
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2He had to. He couldn't spell. As a rebellious 1st grader, he shunned the conformity of language and took a whimsical approach. He showed up at tryouts. "O-Z-K-R-R. My bologna has a
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2the wrapper he came in. Individually wrapping humans did nothing to curb the witch's appetite. Do they not want naked strangers to touch? Cannibalism didn't need ethics. She dipped
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6asked the waiter for some tube worm cleavers. "Sir, those tube worms are an endangered species, so you'll have to eat around them. And make them feel loved." He read them stories
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6had nothing on this, a clear sexual encounter probably between three consenting persons, at least two of them male. They called room service to bring down an acupuncturist because
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6. Peeping Toms are my target audience; I call myself a Peepee Tom since I love being peeped upon. Harold and I were a perfect fit so long as there was glass between us and my top
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6"Hi, is this..." "Thanks for calling Sloppy's Titty Bar, can I take..." Rats, why did I have Sloppy's on speed dial? I tried again. "Is THIS the Tiddy Bear salesman? I'm a cow, so
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7It was the femur of a T-Rex, and Ted couldn't wait to get his teeth around it. He buried his sciency things in a hole in the backyard, but the rainwater seeped through and rusted
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4I hadn't been to yoga in 3 weeks and thought better of it. I scampered in my kitty heels to my owner's keyboard. It looked like he was paying too much attention to not me so I pee