Finished Folds (241—260)
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1. I was glad I was raised in the 70s, when kids who grew up with Scooby-Do were cool. But right now, Bevis was gonna need some help getting away from the 80's kids, so I
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6ted out of the palms of my hands as I pondered those questions. A clock with three hands was draped over the mantle. It ticked louder & louder until the blue man came out of the
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5with a strong hankering for fudge and pickles. "You got any fudge or pickles, Martha?" he asked his wife. "Fresh out!" she replied. "But I've got a creampuff you can eat."
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4million rickshaws, which, if stacked on top of each other, would make it almost halfway to the moon. So you see, 3 London buses will not be enough. We'd need at least 6 & then we'd
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5....mmmmph...giggle..........................gigglegiggle.....................mmmmmmmffffffffff......................
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3"Just yesterday, you asshole. If you don't believe me, look behind you." "I don't see anything." "Then maybe you need to have YOUR eyes checked, because Hannibal Lecter is standing
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4"Buck's Fizz and F*ck Bizz", making us particularly popular for the after work happy hour crowds. The question people ask me the most is "Who is Chumston?" to which I reply,
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5mbat, Johnny Cash's sidekick. "I learned how at marsupial camp when I was 5." J Cash watched Wombat scale the cliff with ease. But his mind was on who was riding up on the horizon.
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5bloody good! Their music seemed to embody the human experience. I could just feel it in my bones. "Play me something original," I veinly demanded of the 4 liverpool lads.
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6before them metrosexual spas & the Green Party. I spat my tobaccy juice out the window of my big ol' redneck truck & sped off into the sunset singin' Sweet Home Alabama. Shee-eeet!
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3dooooooowwwww...Oomf! I didn't even have the chance to finish my thought before I found myself tossed outside the old house. The door slammed & laughter echoed through the night.
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1"Timmy! Wake up, Timmy! You're having that nightmare again. WAKE UP!" I sat up, wet with sweat as my wife switched on the bedside lamp. "You were calling for your mother. What the
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3but it was what it was, and what it was still is and ever shall be, world without end. But not without you." I was practicing my nihilist pick-up lines. Chicks dig me when I quote
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7my mother purposely tried not to give birth to me. She denied me from the start, claiming she was just gaining a little weight. She dismissed her labor pains as gas, while I fought
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3nose & waved my arms around the room to clear the air. My girlfriend was coming over in about 5 minutes & there sat my dad, passed out again & flatulent. He was too heavy to move,
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2I unbuttoned my shirt to reveal my manscape & downed another shot of tequila. The alcohol loosened me up & I bent backwards under the limbo bar, which was on fire. I'd show HER
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3And suck it did, what with all the lost vocabulary words. We could tell that no one really _____. The puzzled look on their faces revealed the ______. ______! Sometimes profanity
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8The TED Talk crowd was patient with him. He was, after all, Darth Vader, & they wanted to hear his motivational speech. "You are," Vader breathed, "a most understanding audience."
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3Mendez started smiling a little too much & invaded Finnegan's personal space & well, you know... Echoes of "I'm Never Gonna Dance Again" resounded through the prison walls. Wham!
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3He was right. There were no bacon bits. We later found out that by the 30th century, pigs had become extinct. "They don't make salad bars like they used to," I said sadly, poking a