doesn't mean you have to be mean to the donkey." Here most of the kids didn't know if Marika was supposed to be the donkey or if it was Hubert. "But I don't mind," she said as she

now he could see them clearly as only being opportunistic. Even if they had meant good they had manipulated him. Rodney wouldn't forgive them for that. But he wouldn't desert them.

but I did send out a tendril of the Force to feel out the Emperors grip on the Empress. The tendril was pinched off. The Emperor had noticed me. His attention bore down on me. I'd

Everybody has to be a tool sometimes. An instrument in the invisible fingers of History. It's time we found out what happens after Revelations. Can the prophets distinguish between

If I gave someone who had never seen a mango a mango they could figure it out. Or so I thought. Then I saw my sister-in-law's step-kid's foster mom's podiatrist's pay stub strewn

I was shocked. I tell you, shocked! Shocked that I couldn't remember the love song of the Prufrock fellow. You know the one, the peach eating daredevil & his properly pinned collar

Another chilling episode of "Dick of York-Sargent, First Secretary to the Royal Treasurer, Accounts Payable, by Royal decree" over, we started to get ready for bed. I had a quiz in

The pimped up peddler just talked the King into buying something called hygienic paper for all the palaces. How much money did he just wipe his ass with? It's my job to pay for it.

How come they never mention the ugly, mundane bits when they write these biographies? How sloppy was Kepler with his slopjar? Did the Royal College try to decipher Royal skidmarks?

When you're THE SHIT and you meet the shits, you realize you ain't shit. The shits level everyone. You can be a shit or you can be The Shit. the shits will bring you down as equals

We would eat shit to show we didn't give a shit about eating shit because we were THE SHIT! Turns out, that was ill advised anywhere, let alone along the Gambeeze River. Heart of

pigeons in the shop next door. The Widow Wing suspected foul play but only a hint of sour anchovy was noticed. Meanwhile, back in the dojo, Sensei's entrails have exploded across

The jury is still out about me being crazy. But they were right about the World on the Other Side of the Sand. It wasn't real. My scuba gear prevented me from being bamboozled. Two

back on his belt to hold up his pantaloons. I hadn't noticed until then that they were pantaloons. I elbowed the guy next to me to look at this guy's pantaloons. Then swoosh, gone.

The Dread Pirate Brucie was in the doldrums and that had him in the doldrums. A pirate with no wind is like a pirate with no parrot. "Arrr, where be yer parrot, Cap'n," the bosun

it was just about then that Professor Loomis finally managed to free herself from the mind numbing drugs the mutineers had pumped into her cabin. She backdoored the self-destruct.

"You were one of my grandfather's prized Hessian Guards. He'd acquired you though a personals ad in the back of a Soldier of Fortune magazine. I remember throwing you in a fire."

Or consider the architect who now is being sued for how easily Batman and Spiderman traipse all over any of the buildings he designed. Making people wonder if he was the Batman.

You know in the movies when cars drive through a hot dog stand. That is pretty funny. That is, unless, that was your hot dog stand. Your livelihood. Who reimburses you? Bad guys?

But Nana was different from most hurricanes. Her weapon was sheer water volume. She reminded me of my human Nana, who used to try to drown me in the bathtub as she washed my hair.