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"For example," offered one of the students, "it's quote difficult maintaining erudite word usage and grammatical correctness in only 180 characters. Would you care for an Oreo?"
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"A-h'yuk." The voice sounded from the hedge across the street, in the darkness, and then I saw the pale, ghastly visage of him peering out from the bushes. "A'hyuk! Hoydle!"
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nt in the room was Horton, who kept insisting he was hearing things until we shoved his ass into group therapy but the other patients' stories were so fucked up that he became more
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[excised slur] [excised slur] what the meaning of a double-entendre is!" But the director didn't know what the meaning of a double-entendre was. So instead he defined it as "a hat
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plot was to turn into a giant newt and have giant newt babies with my captain, which made the whole escapade worth it in the end. We put those giant newts through college, we did.
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but since she was only getting older anyway, it wasn't such a great birthday to begin with. Plus the stripper in the now-melted cake was only Wayne Knight dressed as a Pikachu.
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doorless antechamber of the Archduke Ferdinand's pickle collection for pickle emergencies like the time the Archduke Ferdinand's heart was penetrated by a high-speed pickle from
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need me to eat lasagna with them every single night. Not when I got my thinly-veiled propaganda to watch, like an even stupider version of Dean Cain, or a smarter chewed shoe.
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no chance of admission to the disco clown restaurants in the uptown part of the city. Another thing not as popular as it was in the 2010s was stalking the disabled and mocking them
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swimming in a public pool and getting pregnant. And then running in the pool area, slipping and injuring themselves. So figuratively and literally as well. The next step of our
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But the realmente estupidos was Dummy the Imp, the inexplicably long-lived demonic minion. His father was a pet rock, and his mother was a bucket of paint thinner. But he was happy
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the evergreens, rubbing and caressing their woody, uncomfortable bark, trying to coax the resin out so she could fuck with Lynn's car while the latter was abducted by Martians.
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because their neighbors didn't realize that humans have been farting since they evolved. Plenty of time for the joke to get old, don't you think? Now, pee pee jokes, those never
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fix my fucking desktop, but the recovery drive didn't work. I could tell the computer to boot to it, but then it'd just stay blank. "Maybe I can just cut myself," I thought aloud.
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he took ppics of himself and posted them to whatever the current popular dating app is. That'd show those miserable fuckwits who didn't have a pic of themselves at the Grand Canyon
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spider bits in the funky spider dance at the Grand Spider Gala Ball Party. Millicent the millipede vouchsafed the Ginsu knives, ensuring the Spider Queen had plenty of sushi.
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lubricated the doohickey. He plugged the thingamajigger up the how's-your-father and squeezed so the whatchamacallits flexed outward. He needed this after the week he'd had.
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tomfakery, but this woman whose name she had just forgotten reacted to the fake King Edward by scrolling up images of Pokémon on her cell phone. Specifically their
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"But why does a god need a starship?" asked Captain Kirk (not the Shatner version thank goodness) who Q had summoned and forgotten about in his infinite omniimpotence. Q fumed.
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Dr. Harris continued to think about what makes a parent as she checked the rows of in vitro tubes growing the next batch of colonists. Did this make her a parent? Suddenly alarms