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the dead horse and started beating it with a ping-pong paddle. "CUT!" The director was furious. "Come on, Hercules! That's six horses now! Go practice your lines!" Hercules sobbed
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obtuse hypotenuse overused rhombus boozers with protracted compass disease. They tended to go around in circles, parallel to the ground but perpendicular to each other's
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god like himself. He thought ahead to the day when he could tell his enemies off with just one swish of his hair. That would be the day that his life truly began.
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My spleen!? Bah. Who needs white blood cells anyways. Chew on my furry friend, immune system, be gone! Give me some good old fashioned social distancing a.k.a divide and conquer.
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ly, a refrigerated toe flinched. "Still alive?" Sure enough, there was a whole man in that fridge, wrapped tightly in a fetal position. "Jesus Christ. help me get this guy out." He
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-om only. It was filled mostly with poly-sci majors to get their humanities credits towards their degrees. One of those who took the course took his idea to Uber.
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The sandwiches ignored her command to mate. They reasoned out the correct stance independently and without mustaches, snuff stashes that clash with fashion to hash on the trash.
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up without wearing our wigs that day. It was all the rage in old France to shave your head, as it reduced lice and unwanted suitors. But the chess players thought we were pigs.
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rigged them so entering a PIN administered pre-measured doses of Ex-Lax to the monkeys, causing a commensurate number of bills to spray from their butts. These Simian ATMs revoluti
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planned for next week, and what would Armageddon be without Jesus? The man in the next grave yelled to me. “HEY, some idiot is dancing on my grave!” “I know…it’s Jesus. Just ignore
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The crowd gasped. No one ever questioned the Genie, the supreme know-it-all. The Genie grew to massive size and pointed his finger at the questioner. “Dog! Prepare to receive your
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with relish. But eating scorpions caused the King of Snakes terrible explosive diarrhea. Not able to give up his scorpion habit, the King put the explosive diarrhea to good use. He
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, especially cookie jars labeled “Joker Enterprises” on the bottom. The Joker feigned innocence but laughed at the Penguin’s bloodied finger, which he’d caused. Jim warned the
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The invasion planned by the Purple Pants general McPurple Pants, who was known for being chronically late, was set for 3:30, but he got there at 8:30 due to a translation error.
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AH! I tripped and fell running from them.
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Them . . . Them? Who were they again? I can't remember. . . My head hurts like hell though.
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"No way...." Ezekiel thinks to himself, "It's really him."
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Ezekiel paced back and forth along the cobblestone, hoping that the way his feet ached would subside as soon as God answered. Then, he could finally sit.
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. "Yes, the recital, that would be the perfect excuse..." And so, after manufacturing an argument, Jim did it. He pushed his brother down the stairs with one word: "Oyasumi."
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Jim got so confused and stressed out that he dumped both flasks in the sink. "Jim!" the senator screamed, "what the hell are you doing? My daughter gave me that, get your hands off