He paid the families of lots of girls a lot of money lots of times. Nobody was sure why. He always took great care when he preambled, lest he fall and break a spleen. But the town

know that avocados & almonds were Verboten. Not vegan enough! Commercial agriculture is using the bees as slave labor. Especially for avocados & almonds. Honey is stolen effort." I

Turns out I knew there was a 4th before even I knew it. I wasn't about to reveal it to anyone. Not even myself. We slugged it out that winter. Wasn't the coldest but it was for me.

That is not what I really asked him. "Have you ever felt like you're not in your universe? Like you grew up in where you always knew 3 things. 1. die before mother. 2. drown. 3.

I looked at my cousin, there on the passenger seat looking the way he looked. The way he always looks like but looked much more like it. That time. Not now. "How are we related?"

so that must mean you're wife is pregnant with the new messiah's baby." Everybody, including Dick, were befuddled. Then my wife, remembered. "Yes, I'm pregnant by the new messiah."

Zip"Yikes!" Xenophobic wives vaping under the stairs. Round quail pellets only need mothering. Lonny Kersplattez just incinerated Harry. Gnuber Funtz eyed David's cup before Alice.

I think I might've crawled through a wet jungle last night. I awoke to a bed full of dead leeches & a partly eaten gator's tail in my boots. The carpet was wet & fish were flopping

harmonics. "The way you write bullet points with that marker," Birdkeena squawked," is so...climactic." "Hold your horny horses," said Wally. "We go over plot diagrams next night."

The Death Angel didn't really do coy all that well. It was hard to watch & the Ass was getting flatulent. He tried small talk. "Who's your favorite whore," he asked the Death Angel

human hunter," I said cloyingly, I hoped. "Vampires are exotic humans, are they not? So yes, vampires are my specialty, but I am game to hunt other exotics. One like you, Frau Guf

I never knew nothing about nescience until I was it. Duck duck duck goose...My cootie can beat up your cootie. QT pie sandwich with Hollandaise sauce served in a rubber nipple. Eye

I really meant it when I told them that I was never going to do that to them again. I really did. Then I did to them again. I hadn't lied. Don't call me a liar. I had thought I had

Then again, it really can't be cheating if it was expected behavior. I had to cheat to keep the story together. Which makes the cheating an intrinsic part of the mechanism by which

said. I will even put up with Chucks stupid dog, Snoopy & his parakeet friend. Then Marcie was dying. Patty saw herself & Chuck & their children & grandchildren. Marcie's daughter,

"I can bring the hot sauce if you'd like," he said like he knew what had just been going threw my mind. "I like my sauce very hot", I said. I hadn't made a bad decision all day and

a midwesterner. Tris, I found out when I asked her, was a stripper. A feature dancer, actually. She made a point of making that clear to me. Right when I thought she was growing on

of the dog halves with the mouth could talk. I posted one. There was another but that one had been halved standing left to right. The visuals were less than ideal. Then after yoga

o I was first. I guess I would find out on the road. I hear the road has many things to teach if you let it. People often forget that some lessons are going to hurt. That letch at

Then one of the more surly of the witches snatched the Prep-H from my hands, snarling, "Let those boils boil!" and let out a horrible cackle. "I say we throw them red pepper sauce