was just saving cost on buying a picture frame, Mother would not be happy about it for sure... During a Sunday church visit he witnessed his mother there also wearing a blue dress

that was that. They moved out of the town the next day. Took everything except for a pencil somebody tried to burn in a ritual. Just a little blood and the pencil will be fine. Got

the two guard dogs we own and certainly will not allow anybody use their abilities, officers or not. Only we allow canine Gravitas and Pathos to

not gonna let go of my wife so I just let that devil have her, I ran so fast I started having bunions in my feet. "Phew, I need something to drink now" I thought and

being the disgusting alien it is... "Olives!", "I have olives for you!" I quickly exclaimed thinking it now will stop in its tracks, and suddenly it did work and it started

"It was the guy over there" Said the ghost that appeared out of thin air, pointing directly to a small bush near the staircase. Everybody went toward that bush and

Ever tried to argue with a middle management centurion? Yu think communication between different departments is poor in the modern age? Most of the pigeons were dying from being et

Some ways far more unrealistic if you're made of char. Did you remember step 8? That one's easy. Wait... You didn't? Oh shiii... *the world explodes, leaving them floating... *

Species, others argued I should be dissected in order to glean any medical information to help future mer-kind. After a few sea shandies, some even said they should mate with me

MJ had turned Mars into a intergalactic Neverland ranch. Nothing creepier than a empty funfair on a planet as empty as Mars. But is it empty? My ears prick up. Is that the sound of

H Wandy Wing could do. Unless he hired helicopters to lift up buildings and rearrange them in a more symmetrical way ala Kandy Krush. The judge wasn't impressed but I liked her wig

Of directors had to make a decision as to who could become a clone of Justin Timberlake and who couldn't. They turned me down. I was mortified. They offered me Bieber instead.

Order. Its the turning inside out to freak out the paying guests that we mind. At least wait until they've paid next time! Yes we know you threw a burning bed at one

Maybe humanity has no whole, like it has no substance, no flair. It acts like an onion, but is as hollow as a chocolate egg. A stripping of the skin is a powerful metaphor

Tightening his hieblrdieblr in case of toothy re-entry. The Ghlagahag government would soon evacuate th area and go about destroying the evidence. It raised its third middle finger

I gazed at him thoughtfully. No, he cannot know about the torch. "We have a vermin problem here." I began. "Reckon a taxidermist could conjure up something pretty for the wall-hole

His many folds. These were no ordinary insects. These were the carnivorous telepathic insects from regions unknown. He held his head and screamed as their insane messages began

and it dropped back up again, startling me a bit. I asked what he was writing. He showed me the word moon writ over and over again. I smashed the pad over his head, took the segway

I was starting to think you bits of code that are doing this to me had forgotten me after only 3.32 nanoseconds. Don't worry bits, I 'm going to introduce you to the other meaning

Dusty Springfield reminds me I haven't worked up a real playlist in forever, give or take an eternity here and/or there; and then. And then do it all over again to hear you laugh.