Dusty Springfield reminds me I haven't worked up a real playlist in forever, give or take an eternity here and/or there; and then. And then do it all over again to hear you laugh.

, I might have... HEY! Don't touch me there! That is off-limits, d'ya hear?! Stop it now (giggle). I said (giggle guffaw) STOP! You...heheee...hahahahaa...started this, now you

The lgkakhieblr were treated the same as the Zaiss Apes who emerged from Cdr. Taylor's spacecraft without him. !After a makeover they will be asked about The Equal Rights Amendment

built a makeshift laser beam and prepared to fire it at Roadrunner. Roadrunner saw the laser and began to pick up speed, however, nothing is faster than the speed of light.

In conclusion, I continued, you may or may not agree with the foregoing argument. I appreciate that is the case. Yet I am compelled to make this offer by my last shred of humanity.

at rest. "Mrs. Smith," I whispered for some reason, "please excuse me." Swiftly slinging her over my shoulder, I made my way out the front door. Granny was surprisingly heavy for a

the heart, and cholesterol is winning. I have pastrami hidden in the garage and brie cheese taped to the top of the fridge where my tall wife Splenda can't see it. Fat builds up in

Feet, why not put them where the heads and hearts should do? Does the ribcage not lend itself to the phalluses of two dozen men? Eyes? I know a bag or two that would fit snugly

They were indeed the lions that devoured both dragon and child. All Satan had to do was send a pretty woman into a circle of men and take the rest of the day off, the sounds of red

Damnation. Now I do too. I was avoiding this one since I knew it was a reply to my previous post. It keeps coming up. Even when I'm not looking at it, I can see it. Mustard & eggs.

not to fret though, I was done with the paper and fed it to embers at my feet. The night was being tedious to me. The dry blood in my veins almost pulsed when I heard a clink clink

"Close but not even close. It is a Lynxgila mix I think I've perfected. Should really work out well when we're homesteading Mars." He had a point. "Ok, "Dr. Frankenstein", here's

of here before I feed you to the Kraken. "Oh no, I'm DIYman. I eschew any power beyond my own muscle. I intend to give you a hand driven trepanning the likes you'll never see." He

"Well, you've given me that we can talk about then. Haven't you," she said and then turned her full attention on Uncle Charlie's ghost. "How was your suicide? Was it your first? Oh

something, I guess. Her mouth was missing too. I'm pretty sure her larynx was flapping away at something, which is why I thought she said something. Then Hell's single bars are a j

Pretty sure, that was the second one. Feels like it. Yeah. It is.

Why not one of each?

and revealed his left butcheek. "You see that tattoo? I got it when I unlocked this level." It was Tweety Bird. "Tweety Bird, huh." I said. "Yep," he replied, "now let's have sex."

One was about how that “other” orange juice settled on me. It ended up tasting like watered down Tang.

"Yesss." Hissed the police officer. "but is that really a justification for stealing IP addresses and killing everybody on Folding Story? In years to come you'll be known as the