enonites that can find shelter under my tent, just as Sarah gave shelter to her spiteful servant in the storm. Verily, I feel the Lords tongue falling upon me. Copious Amundesen's

"Dinkum, oy!". This turned out to be a problem for a visiting Yank by the name of Leonard Dinkum'oy. Everytime the Aussies clanged their pints & yell "Dinkum, oy!" he thought they

Rhett Butler's impersonation of Clark Gable but nobody needed to know that. Stop your prying, now. In reality, or in what goes for it around here, Runny Babbit felt peckish about

and did the chicken dance with her invisible friend. The cafe clientele were all locals so they knew she did that, often, so they paid it no mind. The tourists, however, went wild.

Surprise, surprise. I'm in here again. Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Tough crowd. I'm supposed to push the chicken but the little bugger won't stay in his wheelchair. I'm

Should I bring out that too often those who were allowed to wear purple had the lives of thousands in their hands. On Sundays, his thumb determined the fate of some gladiators. In

Then it came to pass that I was sitting upon my throne, doing my royal duties, when a stink broke out over my herald heralding another pretender king's herald. One with a summons.

People leave it everywhere they go. That crap shouldn't be there. There's no people supposed to be in here. I'm only a century dead six year old girl & I know that. I found them in

you're the one who'd been wiping their boogers all over our stalls! "No, dude, that wasn't me? Oh, and STRANGER DANGER! STRANGER DANGER! STOP TOUCHING ME PIG!" The guard got fluste

cked his ass, though. "On second thought," he mused while taking another glance at the two ton bear sharpening its claws. "Let's not and say we did." And that was the last time

"WWCD?" he thought, tumbling in slow motion to the floor from the pickle slippage debacle. "What Would Clausen Do?" he repeated. "Ah-ha!" Brilliance had struck. "Snap!"

kept it hidden between the folds of the pancakes or underneath the butter. "Here this," warned the elders to the syrup children. "Only a fool who wants for death trusts Aunt Jemina

oddly jovial this morning, I thought. Especially considering theire recent 'bad news.' Maybe once dead they adopted a fresher, more positive outlook than they had previously

With inflation and the way of the modern world, you can't get much for a dime. 9. It's no longer, "penny for your thoughts," it's a dollar. 10. Your entire life story isn't worth

osed the color of black - or at least, black as we all know it - onto a concrete slab, then stirred in the world's pain and evil with a soupcon of regret and fear. This was BLACK

ght be One of Them, who knows? Answer? The Hoi Polloi know. And your Ilk and Kind are but wee crumbs swept away from the corners of their gluttonous mouths...so take that with

and I never expected much from you E-Series. You've disappointed me in spite of that. You should all try to be more like the M-Series, or the Z-Series. I'd settle for a few more P-

She was a witch. She was dressed up as the Witch from the Holy Grail. She was on her way to the cosplay event that was up the block. We didn't know that. We saw a witch. We ran out

Lisa Simpson & Lucy Van Pelt were roommates at Bishop Berkley. Lisa didn't understand how Lucy was fixated on this guy that she never fucked or even dated. Charlie Brown this & Cha

My blood both froze and boiled in my body! "Who's that?" We are, everything said all at once. "I must have tripped left of Albuquerque because if we're all here, where's here now?"