They offered my $40,000 for my V-card and I said no. I kept my V-card. I never used it. Why should I vote? I get dicked over either way. Now I wish I had taken the 40k. That buys a

The peapod raised her head, lifted her sunglasses and ogled the celery Cabana boy who brought her Mai Tai. The celery could feel her eyes on his stalks. He hated the Oglers.

Every tree that I went to to relieve myself on had already been visited by Basho. He always left a haiku carved into the bark. Big round Mr. Toad/the clouds conspired for Lot/plop

A banana fish is more banana than fish. That never let it stop it from peeling while swimming in a school. One day the school ran up into the shoals around Ghost Island. The banana

pox: "I'm a bearer of the resistant strain of the pathogen. It's dormant now, but If we marry I can't guarantee you won't get it." Bunny said: "Teddy, what counts is your awesome

well done. They look so real that they don't look real, how real that they look. The rental includes data packs for any activity. Adult activities required a subscription package.

When EJ Camacho of Space Patrol had been just been a little girl, she hadn't lived with the stars in her head. She barely noticed the robots around her. She knew they were there.

the vaguely dog-like robot's partner drone. She must have dropped her defensive field as we entered the Doctor's exit because I hadn't noticed her until then. The word Metropolis

I've noticed that a lot of people don't like how I enter their minds when they read what I write. They worry what I might have seen when I was in there. They know that some parts

The future felt like blown minds and I still needed my unblown if I was going to solve the issue of tomorrow. I hoofed it over to Keener's Diner to meet up with my George & Elaine.

the story of thrak. thrak was man. thrak have cave painters tell thrak story. thrak hookup cave painters with frisky cavewomen near his cave. thrak thinks this might influence cave

God noticed you at the Chow House getting your feed on. God had made a mistake in you but he couldn't remember what it was. That was a lie. God remembered but wanted to forget.

Sometimes being evil is the only right thing to do. If God asked you to do evil, you would have to. He'd make it good later. You only got the evil though. You were just the schmo

didn't notice nothing that he hadn't already noticed. So it was with a bit of nostalgia that he came upon Mrs. Butterworth's bottle. Her cap had been ripped off at the hinge. This

couldn't. He had to stop thinking about tickling his patient and pay attention to his surgeon's duties. Then it hit him. "Nurse Rachet, I am going to need the surgical feather."

The first case before Judge Jussie Smollett was about a man who had lost an arm and a leg in a dog fight but forgot to take his unnamed drugs out of the elbow. He wanted them back.

from freeloading gazes. The drapes did their job. Of that, there was no question. The Boyd thinks that maybe the prisoners would prefer to listen to periwinkle ramona's ideas on an

Edith Wharton School of Dumb Luckasaurus." Everybody looked at me like I had just squandered my small bit of fame. In the end they named it lagtaytayisaurus. I left town on the nex

In case you didn't know, he blew up the men's room for almost 3 hours. It was detected on the thirteenth floor. Thirteen didn't like these types of stinks to develop. They scented

He also didn't need golden showers in Cabo with vatos eating gelatos and tacos. Give me a plato. Lets eat some offal, inside a waffle, like Evil Knoffle in a brothel. Man, you're