hold a bonified, rarefied, one of a kind " Buzz-ometer by Wham-O!" -guaranteed to detect, measure and identify all buzzing and their origin. Perfect for just such a predicament!

-eticized the moment in a sloppy seconds kind of iambic pentameter, choosing to eulogize his late partner, Sir Humpty Dumpty. He placed his hands to his lips and then gravestone

Are you here with me or against me? "I am here as your conjoined twin," answered Taint. "Hey, I'm here too," shouted the third conjoined twin, Queef. Queef preferred trip over twin

which was my salvation. I didn't want to appear to be a blowfish but I wasn't no angelfish either. "I can be your Hucklefish if I have to be." Trout and his school lined up behind

at the translation bot: We interested in comparing the taste. Room 34. Jalambra looked away, barely containing her fury. Father Zorin answered the Xihru, "I will not be tasted, tha

do? "Who much of a mother to you is your sexy son," asked Krass from the Piedmont plant. Everybody's head whipped around to look at him. "I mean, if your sexy son is the right kind

FoldingStory is not helping put these demons down today. This morning when I said, "It's become one of those days", I had been lying. But I guess that lie flipped it into one.

golem in accordance with the templates of the day: it comes out like a star-shaped worm from a Playdoh factory that destroys society with its aphoristic wit. And not only that,

"I feel a joyous moment coming – the engines of the Cosmos thrumming – destructive in its exaltations – and so I send my salutations." No, that's more than a little disturbing, he

just that she was a ghost. How can anyone have contact with a ghost? Pfft." But Pam took my snarky rhetorical question seriously and investigated how to contact ghosts. Which led

"Of course I am not one to pry into the business of others, and please forgive me for asking, but is it true that you were unable to distinguish a small grapefruit from an orange?"

He lit the lamps of the hermitage and thought upon times past. That time Chaz stopped by did help. And now, instead of the attire of exile, he wears the apparel of a future life.

we were dismayed by the smell and the leftovers from the forensic scene 13 years prior: police tape, blood stains, chalk outlines, dried puke puddles. We roused the Hotel's manager

n Erlenmeyer flask for later study. But as we went about this pleasant task, we encountered people who were superficially blank but roiled with brambles and spake with thorny eyes

"Yes, I can hear them," said Protexia. "Maybe you should get off your fat ass and close the window. Not all citizens will be saved, and your social rating has been slipping of late

're insane! Why'd you stab me?!" I shouted. He ran away fast, and then I started chasing him. I grabbed the dagger and pursued him. He was fast, but not fast enough.

She tried to grab it out of her mouth, but the spider kept crawling, down her esophagus and into her stomach, the jalapeno oil on its legs burning the poor lady's entire throat!

had the wrong number and could he send $200 to fix the problem. "Look, Schyster McFakery, esquire, I already paid you your retainer but you haven't fixed my problem. That ad has to

We couldn't tell if the boy was crawling in or if she was birthing him. When the witnesses all shouted "aouee uloy" and smacked their neighbor, I opted for birth. The chief shaman

When I woke up I was tied up on a sled on some kind of rail inside a temple somewhere in Cambodia or Laos. I wasn't more than four inches from the floor. I realized the statue was