Schlomo sighed and let the remainder of his meal fall onto the floor. He stripped off the stranger's underwear and filled the sink with hot, soapy water. He grabbed the steel wool

act together, you fools! We've got money to make!" My servants lined the riverbank. I could see the ripple of anger spreading through their ranks. My boat rocked as the first stone

Shadow the chimera's consternation at the delay of her victuals was nearing the tipping point. She howled again & woke her banshee head. Her dog & human heads looked at each other.

President T resented that people kept comparing him to Hitler. It was high time, he thought, for Hitler to be forgotten. President T would kill 6 billion, if he had to, to be remem

"No sir," answered Officer Cruspin, "We pinned that one on Yogi Bear. Alls we needed was one more infraction from him before we could lock him up, and he had avoided trouble until

I'd always planned to keep it that way. My plans went awry when I walked into the yard one summer evening to see her crouched over our ex-step-dad's grave with a shovel in hand.

she spoke immediately set a shiver of alarm racing down Bond's spine. He soon realised the issue - M's voice sounded like an elderly African-American gentleman. "Morgan Freeman?"

Thankfully, that togetherness came before some day when a Grizzly mistook him for a piece of native jerky. From then on, Sitting Bull was remembered as Delicious Bull,

Christy Minstrel, back in ancient Greece, and therefore way ahead of my time and misunderstood. It was assumed that the Gods had placed me there to warn of the awful music that

with Scotchguard (TM) to keep their alien tears from burning holes in their extra-terrestrial shirts. With all the hatred, it was a wonder anyone was being born there at all.

It is a little-known fact that Mary Poppins was shot down by 'friendly fire' over Dorking, England in January of 1941. Luckily, she was able to

but the inhumanity contained within them killed their occupants, and I thought you had all been exterminated. How is it, my child, that you have survived when all the others have

"How did you get this number? Father Merrin died over 40 years ago. Did you know him?" I'd have to face this White House dinner alone, between Rasolam and Molasar. Melania sure

"Mr. Jeffries, I'm sorry but I thought I had signed up for a job with NDA Inc., not NPA Inc." The way he glared at me nearly provoked a further explanation, but that was not my way

institutions who demand ethical source funding. The institutions especially should understand their place. We want to invest in them to feel better not to actually be better. Bums,

small enveope from his back. "You sure about that, Carrothead?" He said menancingly, eyeing the paper &Onion with ominous intent. "You know what this is, right?" he asked the veget

the cliffside."Uh-oh" he thought, slamming face first into a particularily craggy rock, arms and legs akimbo. "This isn't going to end well," he mused, sliding down the rocks face

be the last to the top this time, I vowed. I took a deep breath in, let it out. This was to be the day I get to the top of the dog first! Screw all those other guys. I am flea! Hea

I knew it wasn't going to be pretty. I imagined the moment my brother would find out about him abusing me. I watched him, waiting for the rage. "Well, I do own a shovel." was all

News of the maple leaf's losing battle in fighting the loss of space in Seattle reached the Federated Beavers of the Yukon who immediately started harvesting blocks of Yukon space.