her cat, Dinah with a goldfish's tail wagging out of her mouth. The cat jumped down from the cupboard & ducked out the back door leaving behind Enochian glyphs in her pawprints. Al

Squishy Toy. Most people at first seem to think that last one doesn't sound that loathsome let alone the most loathsome. They think they've let it go and suddenly they're getting a

Hurricane Asp sounded scarier than Hurricane Cat5. That made it sound like it was not even afforded a name because it was an expendable role. Who is would see a show about Cat5? On

Sad Ladies" was playing on the transistor radio that Eeyore could swear had never been seen in the 100 Acre Woods but for some reason wasn't quite sure about. His Small Brain was

SPEAK UP?" The crowd simmered down, but then a teeny voice shouted. "I am brave enough! You've got absolutely no right whatsoever to proclaim YEET!" The crowd parted & I saw

while they were intimidated by his Asian bulk &occasional bad mood, the tiny people loved the fortune cookies he distributed.They nicknamed him "Kodokuna Futtoto": Lonely Fat Man.

there is indeed positive correlations between voters who are registered Democrats, jackasses &aggression! Such fun! You can also sing a karaoke tribute to who you voted for. I sang

Half of them were donkey. Most top/bottom, then left/right. Then there were a few that were exactly half inside and outside. There the variation was: human outside/donkey inside or

Things my coffee forces me to think about: my global dickprint, Yuppy memorabilia, hipster doofisms, escrow accounts in 4th world countries, the children of Juan Valdez (Which hal

To anybody but an egg, being described as "Sunnyside Up", should be a nice thing, right?

In spite of the what the jungle music in the next room might suggest, he really wasn't as deranged as he was made out to be by the press. The duck sounds you are hearing are not

Both teams were scored as Forfeits and their cheerleaders were dispersed throughout the Federal Witness Protection Program. Not all of them got a Tommy Lee Jones type, and for that

His scattershot rendition had most of them dropping to the floor looking for cover. Never had the National Anthem been received with such a reaction. The death threats started imm

and the C that was sponsoring today's show set out to climb Mt. Kilimanjaro. After a few miles they stopped to watch a bullfight between Papa and Henri Bergson with a burlap sack t

“No”, yelled Trump at Grampa, “I don’t have Grey Poupon.” Then he rolled his window back up and fumed to himself about being poisoned by foreign mustards. He called ahead to have a

Austin Marathon. Most people thought he was going to be the slowest runner because he was dressed as a sloth. That suit had to weigh 25 pounds and it was hot inside it. It smelled.

momentarily but this was instantly replaced by the familiar soothing warmth flowing through her veins. This, she thought, truly put the "Ahhhh in Vodka." Gabrielle's dream elixir

nking about the last time I had thought about cans of corn...ah, yes! It was Spring Training, 1992, Candlestick Park , San Francisco. I had just yelled the very same at an upstart

droll and predictable. I wish I could say the same for my card reading. "If only I could reach out and grab a tiger by the toe," I mused. "Why, I'd never want for anything again!"

id not close the circle before leaving. And so here we sit. A tortured few, imprisoned by our own stubbornness, doomed to the darkness, the silence and the endless, relentless