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-- oh that Gaga - she weren't no lady, thought Madonna, pressing down the beauty mark which kept falling off her face. "I'll teach ALL the Madonna-wanna-bees who's the real Mado!"
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The wolves were howling and the air was unseasonably crisp. The general lay-out of the rest stop was what I remembered from 10 years ago, but do any of them really change? Time war
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school. I wanted to go to Downstout Self-Acceptance Academy, but mother thought it "beneath" us. (She says this with her Non-Downsnout raised, just so you can see up inside it).
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remembered the old trick of humming to keep from yacking. "hmm.hmm (gag) Hmmm...(gag)..." Chris went into overdrive to keep it down. It was like watching a python try to swallow a
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And then their alarm clock went off, they woke up with a start. That's when it (should) hit them - the perpetrators of the sexual misconduct - that no amount of denial will save th
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lf no favors. "Be you boy or be you girl!?" Myself asked myself. "Sheeeeeeet. " Myself replied. "Ain't nothin' but a G Thang." Myself was now even more confused. "Say whut?"
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erior fee of 15 dollars, or see my license revoked!"said Gert through her teeth."You think being a dentist pays? I'm gonna end up on the street if I don't win that baseball contest
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I hadn't seen Malfoy the Bearded Hippy since I'd killed him that second time. "Yes, Malfoy, it is a VW. There have been stylistic updates since our time. How's the weed wherever yo
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(Timbuktu, as everyone knows is the location for all the exterior sets for all the great 80s dramas; Fantasy Island, The Love Boat, Falcon Crest - you name it. The government had
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ed, but they violently shook "no!" So he put them back in his case. "Hmm." he thought. "Guess I'm gonna haff to form my own band if I wanna score some real chicks." The tits laughe
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equals 1/2 the total of an average 3am Trump dump. So...given those figures, I felt pretty vindicated.
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ring what remained of the feast. "Ima-Ima-"stuttered the neighbor in horror, flailing uselessly at the door just as the white hot bolts of gunshot ripped through his cerebral corte
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eat his own crap while he's down there," she thought. Junior took his mascoting WAY too seriously. She and Bubbles and Coco and even Pikachu agreed. It was time for an Intervention
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saw the Quark Crack. Don't laugh. It's really there and I really saw it. A portal of space and time exists between 1969 and 1970, wedged open only slightly by my French Horn. Soon
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Just as he was curling up into the fetal position the door to the Oval Office flew open and i stormed Putin. "Trump!" he yelled. "Get up, get out of ze onesie dat you wearing and w
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"Alright, let's go." Said the arresting officer to the janitor. The janitor wiped his nose and asked if he could bring an extra tissue. "F-f-f-for my p-pproblem snee-sneezing." he
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identifications, the mutilations, the twin midget roller derby mishaps, the barbed wire to the face incidents - the usual fodder. Who was I but a small town beat cop to deny the pu
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Wait, what? I thought. I'm leaving bloody footprints? What did I walk through - when? I started to panic. My feet felt wet and sticky. I was afraid to look down. But worse still,
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whether that land mass west of Australia was really there in this reality or not. So I clung tightly to the globe but, of course, the Winds of Resistance in cahoots with the Time L
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mind-numbing. "Screw this." I thought and hopped back into the deepest, darkest corner of the web. It was there, waiting for me, like a loyal old dog at grave site. "Helllo," I s