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it was all based on a lie. He could never marry his sister. The Gods would never allow it and, more importantly, his insurance agent wouldn't allow it. He would site consanguinity
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one was on board except the actual demon in charge of dead engines. The top Demon Brass didn't know if this rated getting the Big Guy involved. On one wing, it seemed like it did.
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I had over judged the MiracaGrow™ powder, and had liberally doused my Panther plants. They were quite beautiful, but it was important to cut them before they grew legs. It's taxing
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How right that lady was who called me a “Tree Lover”. Maria, the tree, and I grew up next door to each other. We know when the other first sported wood. Her rustling branches were
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I showed the jungle what I thought of it’s insurrection. I left it’s carcass beside the lumber roads I had been paid with: exclusive timber and mineral rights to the region. My sis
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I took on the Thirty-Seventh Avenue jungle today. So far we are even but the sun nourishes it while depleting me. It will be close to see which of us is standing by the end of the
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I need an ugly shirt. I grab this prisoner striped one. Is this too close to home? I think that is Miss Hendricks. It looks like her bonnet is open. I’ve always wanted to work on
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I really don’t have the time for Prester John, the lawn is screaming for me; the cats as well. Too long we have lived under this yoke. Today is the day it is; just let it happen.
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Thirty hours later, the remnants of the “Great” Space Armada of Prester John limped back into normal space only to find their hinterlands surrounded by their Dragon Dragoons. From
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It wasn't long before an execution had begun. Blood splattered across the wooden floor, similar to the Devil's skin. Marina was now on the floor, in pieces. The audience laughed.
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"Heaven help us," prayed Sister Joseph Harridan as thousands of white "Christians" sought refuge at St. Michael's, trying to blend in with the diverse congregation. The backlash b
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. Kali's head was expansive, but the war vets that her fellow Avatar had placed there for safe keeping were too many for her to ignore. She healed their wounds and begged them to
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was so that I could make you my enslaved beauticians. My hair is desperately in need of a permanent. Now, which Tony has the Toni?" The two demon Tonys stared at their new master.
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of us bathed in our misery? Wait, no, the poem isn't meant to have a depressing ending. I peered at the stanzas scribbled across the notebook, then tossed it into the fireplace.
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"For your information: I love churros," Ayashikya spat back at me, "Here's a selfie of me eating one." She shoved her phone in my face and there she was, her face covered in crumbs
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"Good." The boss squawked back. "Now synchronize your watches and proceed with Operation Squirrel OverTake. Is that perfectly understood?" "Yes, sir!" they intoned simultaneously.
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back to its previous size but I still remained stupid. So I insisted they redo the enlargement that had halved my IO. They refused but I convinced them when I pulled my gun. I am a
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y Craig's latest food delivery plan. My left hand vastly preferred the sweet stickiness of candy and the grains of salt and batter which the fried food left behind. But the right
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"ICE DOES NOT HAVE BONES!" I blared that out over and over using my trusty megaphone until the cops brought me down off the bus stop shelter using meat hooks & nets. They tried to
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available on digital hard copy and put quickly into the hands of King Tooterino.The King would see the treason Prince Charming did all over the castle with that strumpet Ciderella.