to be tied over the fact that she might have to marry a sculleryboy, the mermaid asked Neptune to turn the boy into a more witty and sophisticated gentleman. Neptune only

-cine figurine of himself accepting his Torture Diploma (which he had begun to model in anticipation) was red with blood. If his victim died, he would only be a murderer. Thinking

a chill pill and reassessed the situation. Sure, everything had been destroyed, but wasn't it a learning experience? The Doktor nodded sagely as the air left his lungs. Tickertape

Tony Stark gestured with his arm. When nobody's gazes followed his gesture he had to look around. Antman was 10 feet tall and holding a mangled Hulk in his arms. "You had a Hulk."

, as she did every December 24, to be a pretty princess. She wanted Saint Nick to ambush her Aunt, the current queen. She placed peanut butter oatmeal cookies to persuade him, with

I have twenty cupcakes. Twenty chocolate desserts topped with dark icing up rolled up neatly in twenty matching wrappers. Twenty. My number of targets just increased to twenty one

You know that moment when you watch 900 crates of diamonds drift off the sea like Jack from Titanic?No? Let me rephrase. You that moment when you know you’re totally fired?

“Give me two cheeseburgers but add lightly sautéd onions and vegan cheese Kay?” Without turning her head the chef gave the suited pest of a man a historically unsubtle glare. “No.”

An arrow quickly whizzed by Prof. Laznaim, marking the side of her head with a tiny slit of a wound. "Your reflexes have been underestimated. You survived. Survived." Prof. Laznaim

, marking the ice with a neat figure eighty-eight. Capt. Toruto, on the other hand, went up in flames while trying to light themselves a cig. The fire melted the glacier to reveal

annual migration of a particular species of Chiroptera, do not be fooled by their innocent appearance, for they are cursed with a thirst of strictly AB+ blood and love. This cabin

seeing how things were going with Andy Devine and Froggy, stopping momentarily to smile at Beany & Cecil and Soupy Sales, along the way, before fluttering back to Captain Kangaroo

over my bathroom threshold, when it hits me like a bag of Fritos, right between the eyes…why didn’t I see it sooner? Everyone is affected, infected or not. Everyone itches at 4:15

The Magician WOULD speak if his stupid friend stopped writing in ALL CAPS & in incomplete run-on sentences. Unless someone leaks who was rude to his Grandma, this feud ends now!

The Werewolf Travel Federation ( W.T.F) is a prestigious study abroad program specifically for college students diagnosed with lycanthropy. The organization often partners with the

Seattle. He grew upsipping kombucha out of metal straws and raising awareness about endangered sea turtles. His conservative parents spent years looking for him.

I found a good room to rent all right. Snack dab in the middle of manhattan too. Right next to my new job. One problem. My neighbor is a literal demon. Horns, pitchfork and all

After a couple of months, everybody was amazingly comfortable with each other. I would often sit in the living room in boxers and a tee shirt watching television, or reading a book

who had been duped by the Temporal Guardians mythos against it. The Elders of Science were too conservative about Time Travel. Bruno's Treatise Orbo Novus spelled it out clearly.

Sitting gingerly ahorse the battered paladin scanned the valley below him. Wounded, alone, and deep in enemy territory. He had made peace with having seen his last sunrise. He drew