that he had listed on a note. His first subject was Philandry 101. Lance knew he would claim Crown's Privilege over his own forays into such saucy trimmings. His next subject was

us what's up? "Well Ed, thanks for having me on the show. We are planning to extend our research, but it's rather hard to say through which channels." Dr. Endo, this may arouse

However, having been grievously injured the last time he tried to climb a beanstalk, Jack sued the bean-seller, demanding he make the stalks wheelchair-accessible. "How am I going

Frank on the behind, because it was so difficult to tell it from Frank's face. Frank's Nazi connections "fixed" the dog like they "fixed" Jews. Be sure to spay or neuter your pets!

boxing matches. It could have been a contender! It reached it's tentacles down clogged chimneys and saved the Banks children from fire and weirdo chimney sweeps. It tap-danced on

Probably people who write for FoldingStory! And how did Ukrainian grannies gain immortality anyway? Aren't they all hopped up on shirka and krokodil these days? My granny is!

PDA alerted him to its low battery status. "He's a proud maker of ties for hens," Ted said with a straight face. Detective Manatee wiggled his mustache and frowned at his PDA.

oven window. When I came back an hour later, the migratory goose was still not cooked. I had not turned the oven on. But feeling that this was fate, I took it out and threw it

the intense heat emanating from the Devil's skin. "Mr. Devil, may I sit my egg drop soup on your arm for a minute, until it warms up a bit, please?" "What will you give me, Charlie

Lucky for Jimmy, Yoko Ono was just getting out of her car at the end of the block, and her door stopped his slide with a resounding whomp. "Walking on thin ice?" she asked him. He

counted out her bullets. One. She counted them again. Still only one. She peeked over the counter. The Grand Poobah was still eyeing the Claw Prize game. Like he recognized it. She

To see the system inherent in the violence, experience the plight of slaves/ to reach beyond time's fetters, make particles behave lives waves/ to test those winter sweaters. This

It was bad enough when President Willow Khaleesi Chernobyl Garnite-emon made me Exobiologist of the Still United States (ExOTSUS). But when she raised it to a Cabinet position, I

The filaments of the ideas you never had lay rusting on the sill collecting bug corpses. I meant to give them to you someday. The bug corpses. To highlight, again, where we stood.

It wasn't a secret that he was doing this under duress. Everybody understood that was the real message. It just happened to be Ted this time. It could've been any of you. Or me. It

flew mere inches above her head to crash unceremoniously into the bulkhead behind her. Getting back into Perugia consumed her attention. She didn't learn about the seagull until

For some unknown reason, I can neither say nor spell asdfjlgt8eh. See what I mean? I'm sure the real asdljeiis, doesn't have any of those letters in it. Or sounds when I try to say

When his Hitler started looking more elephantine the questions started flying. "Whose idea was it to hire an embyonic elephant to animate Mein Kampt?" being the most frequent one.

he was stopped in his tracks when he saw an old Army recruiting poster on the grocery store's community message board on the wall by the shopping cart stand. Ovaltine saw Uncle Sam

My glare must have reminded her about the roast because she said, "Oh, the roast" and fled the room. I sighed inside and turned to face my mother-in-law. "No need for suck drastic