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I convinced her to change her name to Bam the Banshee and got her her first gig on the Korean pop circuit. I should have known then that she would eventually leave me, but I had
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blowing on trombones using only the force created by a beer and egg lunch. It was a disgrace to the entire education system, if you ask me. This "Empathy Training" only served to
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was rejected as heretic and I was forced to attend Popeye's Godless Chicken University, instead. It was there I learned that The Creator was actually a female chicken, who hatched
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On and on she moves about the respondent, or was it the appellant, it all swung upon which level of insincerity the jurors currently sat, Superior or Supreme? I truly don’t know.
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Watch out folks! We’ve got a sniffer, a snuffle, a grunter; a huff and puffer, a hypertensive, hyperventilating coked up doper. STAND to the SIDE! COMING THROUGH!!!
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, especially in drive-thru lines for burgers. Kind of a chokepoint. Plus the bicyclists in pursuit must have stolen some alien jump and cloak tech. The fleets of Jeeps and Hummers
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I worried that I had offended the rooms somehow, that I had been intrusive in my listening. I asked for guidance regarding etiquette. In the bedroom, a guitar string snapped and
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How could I move on and leave my childhood friend, Arthur, behind? Easy. What has Arthur ever done for me, huh? Oh, wait! He was the Best Man—the Be Best Man at my first wedding.
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with sour cream and artificial bacon bits and points them toward the mountains of mashed potatoes. "Fire!" commands Capt. Blue Cheese, but due to improper lighting, the canons
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the broth with the savour of sadness. Mama quickly cast about her memories for a happy memory, trying to sweeten the dish, but all she could think was bitterness and resentment.
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contribution for the war effort. Naturally, we won, and were thus able to retain our medals whilst looking like true heroes, despite the fake maladies we had invented to avoid
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my mind for a butterscotch pudding cup, but I didn't care. It was just so entertaining watching all those old folks in Serenity Adult Undergarments vying for the Sit 'n' Spin recor
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"Forsooth, Seamus! I bite my thumb at you, shit covered cur. The reasons you pretend for this break of faith can not, and WILL NOT go unpunished. You dullard!" The Knight drew his
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"Do you know what you are saying you salty dog? If you felt that way, why take the professor and all the rest. Why take the millionaire & his wife?" "They offered me a way out."
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Friar Pontrouse was as fat as he was sly at being a true believer. It was his duty to offer private encouragements to the young ladies of the villages. Count V was trespassing into
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my purty mouth." The banjo blushed sharply. The spirit of the marsh-island could see where this story was going and tried to head it off by fomenting mistrust between Kask & banjo.
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When sorrow fills my days and nights, I like to fill a hypodermic with bleach and sell it to the crack dealers and hookers; after that, I usually sleep for a month in cryo chamber.
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I’m leaving tomorrow at dawn for clown college; I’ve packed all my makeup, noses, ears, funny shoes, etc. Uncle Tonsil agreed to read me a murder mystery, to help me fall asleep.
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to the hungry and under-dressed. Henkley & Hockley offered vests made out of provolone. Gowns made out of kale. Socks made of cotton candy fibers woven delicately together. We als
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to be there, I guess. Suffice it to say, I was uncomfortable about the whole thing; being transparent, being 6g, and having some kind of murder in the family. So that night I crept