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That's because he runs by every morning and sprays the library windows with mud from a squirt gun. Donna, who was a talentless Nancy Sinatra wannabee, has to wash those windows
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barrage that was the tuba solo between confessions of malevolent ennui & paeons to Apollo's sister, the goddess Artemis. The Boneless shredded the stage with their axes & hexes. I
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The granddaughter, Leila, ran from the room, down the stairs, across the atrium, and into the sunroom where her grandfathers red umbrella still hung from its peg. She knew the trap
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looked Lima beans up in Bugle & found out that they had been eradicated during President Presley's 2nd term for being unlawful combatants during the Food Court Wars. Frozen corn
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I've wondered before and I will wonder again. How long will I have to wait? When it is the case, you'll know. That is all the answer they give me. Real time. Whatever happened to
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the quick slipped from its body. The battle around us was loud in how quiet it became with the creature's death. The creature's creatures stood dumb without its mind in them. Never
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I set out to find my limits. I needed to know them. Or, at least, learn when I was near them. As has been often noted, where you set to go isn't always where you go. Look at me. My
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I found out that the Devil is not the only one that can buy your soul. Roman Schlesinger could too. His grandfather, Schlomo Schmuck, a rabbi, had finagled the concession from God.
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gave me in that situation. When your scimitar erupted from the Antipope's urim I lost my shit. But I didn't care. You still Antipope, Sven/" Sven lowered his knife from my throat.
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"Well, of course at this stage nobody is sure that anyone would want to live forever, so may I suggest our Silver Plan which would take you to 800?" Jane glared. "Don't you feed me
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Unfortunately the wan light of morning eventually revealed a bubble-pack envelope resting on my pillow, which of course ... Then some Norwegian-looking guy grabbed me by the jaw
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"Nah, man. It was always the 19th night of September in that song. And yeah, you already explained about the Marlowe Effect, which the rest of know as the Mandela Effect. So, chill
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But this revenge, creative though it was, landed him in Prison. Every weekend his Mama would visit with a lemon meringue pie and weep as the guards ate it and threw away the file.
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their honeymoon who believed that Foldy's potent creativity would greatly enhance their libido. It didn't. Instead, Foldy leapt from their stomachs and re-congealed as a god. It
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or SMORGENDORFUS. People loved walking through the aisles of IKEA and chuckling at the absurd names I invented. Apparently that outweighed the fact that my designs were haunted.
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humanity obese. I'll defeat them with sedentary lifestyle diseases!" Wonka cackled as he directed his Oompa Loompas to pour a vat of butter into the chocolate river. "Glorious!"
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slammed the door closed behind me. As the lock clicked into place I sunk to the floor and heaved a sigh of relief. I didn't care if he was my uncle, I'd be damned before I danced
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the concussed and otherwise impaired." I watched her mouth with fascinated horror. The human-sized maggot had no teeth. "T-thanks, Maggolita," I stuttered. I didn't want to offend
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The called him the Scat Whisperer and paid a lot of shiny shit for his services. Kings and Principalities from Hell were his best clients. Then needed to make their crap look the
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It wasn’t so much that Dunkirk Holp objected to being mediocre. In fact, he sometimes leaned into his oblivion like a fakir in a tub of dung & a lotus. A smile of consternation was