I am addressing you. Only you. All the others are reading this thinking, like you are, that I'm just talking to a general you not you personally. But you're wrong. I'm talking to

I found that my reasoning was sound but not smell. The court was still out as to if it had a soul to speak of. I counted the empty places where empty spaces could be missing you.

"THERE, RIGHT THERE, that is why we cancelled your book deal. A real pirate would have said scuttled! The truth is sir, that you are not a pirate & nobody ever bought that pegleg!"

As if on cue, which it was, his hand found a glass of some readily available libation of the sort that dulls the senses on purpose. Blasted helped Sven stand, offering him a drink.

I couldn't remember if I had run into that generous soul yet. I couldn't tell if I was only remembering the future I had seen in the past. I had to find my time in the timestream.

I set out that day with a hopeful heart. My hopes soared when I ran into a generous soul. He didn't seem all that generous though. He kept harping about how I'd run into him with

Turns out that my other mind knew a TON more than I ever could even imagine. Once I found the elusive object, my other mind began chanting advanced calculus equations and summoning

three bright green eyes and one giant bloody nostril. I tried to run away from her, but she ran after me, and all of the others who had been in the toxic gas with her followed.

The other 42 are for after dinner, because they must be taken with food. It gets hard keeping track of all the medicine, so my captors created a handy chart and pasted it on the

McChimpface to have each and every one of their babies (assisted by the good doctor). "Ha!" said Chimpy, "Now you Capuchin can't attack me, for I have born your young!" But the

The blunt force I delivered to his rocky noggin might as well have been the caress of a Japanese war fan, of the Hudoshi Clan. Not only did we have to accommodate the old ways with

that some people weren't worth rescuing and he saved them anyway. Typical Sven. Always saving the day even when the day don't need saving. With Blasted tucked away on FS, Sven saw

When Loli Ynez sold her tortilla empire to Whole Foods for an outrageous amount of money, she had the painting of her father replaced over the fireplace with one of her as Bolivar.

In the same way that Pittsburgh is to glassblowing as Acer is to Piedmont, so, too, is the remainder of this sentence.It is what it is. Can't sugar coat it although maybe I should.

have some mustard on your eggs. If tomorrow is cloudy, have a pickle with your mustard. If you discover it is that time of the month, dip some chicken in your mustard. Like Marcia

o each shoe. But little boy Centipede's main concern was not his mother's nagging. All of a sudden, a giant hand reached down and grabbed poor little Centiboy off the ground!

set for him, but I still needed him and his mice to leave if I was going to sell my house for good money. But when I requested he leave, the Grand Duke mouse jumped at my face and

The sweat dribbled onto the floor and I fell face-down. The audience gasped as I jumped back up & caught all the bananas and chainsaws falling from above, but one of the chainsaws

As she handed Glenn the card of her cousin Krotar, she mentally pictured the Knight of Swords and sent her cousin a warning. Glenn took the card and looked at her. "Were you just

I started designing bedrooms I will never see in homes I'll never step foot in. Concensus had deemed me unfit to board the Arkship. Something about my bloodline & religion. Jebus!