eater until I was already on the dinner table. The eye eater was the last thing I saw. He was followed by the knife tickler who flayed my hands quite nicely, I was told. An aroma

for your love. Why not? It was that of die in this terrible plane accident. An accident purportrated by this maniac with a bomb. This is the last chance I have to jump for you love

er's room now and I was Mitch Kramer. The thing was, I might not know who the fuck I am but I know that I am not a fucking Mitch Kramer. I don't even want to know what one of them

"I am asking on behalf of a fiend who broached the question, What now with our getting and want? As to who is this fiend, I can not allay you of that. He doesn't wear false glory."

bother and that was what was bothering him. All of his exploits are a bother to somebody but never to him. Until now. The beer mug collapsed in his fist. He blamed the bartender.

I am addressing you. Only you. All the others are reading this thinking, like you are, that I'm just talking to a general you not you personally. But you're wrong. I'm talking to

I found that my reasoning was sound but not smell. The court was still out as to if it had a soul to speak of. I counted the empty places where empty spaces could be missing you.

"THERE, RIGHT THERE, that is why we cancelled your book deal. A real pirate would have said scuttled! The truth is sir, that you are not a pirate & nobody ever bought that pegleg!"

As if on cue, which it was, his hand found a glass of some readily available libation of the sort that dulls the senses on purpose. Blasted helped Sven stand, offering him a drink.

I couldn't remember if I had run into that generous soul yet. I couldn't tell if I was only remembering the future I had seen in the past. I had to find my time in the timestream.

I set out that day with a hopeful heart. My hopes soared when I ran into a generous soul. He didn't seem all that generous though. He kept harping about how I'd run into him with

Turns out that my other mind knew a TON more than I ever could even imagine. Once I found the elusive object, my other mind began chanting advanced calculus equations and summoning

three bright green eyes and one giant bloody nostril. I tried to run away from her, but she ran after me, and all of the others who had been in the toxic gas with her followed.

The other 42 are for after dinner, because they must be taken with food. It gets hard keeping track of all the medicine, so my captors created a handy chart and pasted it on the

McChimpface to have each and every one of their babies (assisted by the good doctor). "Ha!" said Chimpy, "Now you Capuchin can't attack me, for I have born your young!" But the

The blunt force I delivered to his rocky noggin might as well have been the caress of a Japanese war fan, of the Hudoshi Clan. Not only did we have to accommodate the old ways with

that some people weren't worth rescuing and he saved them anyway. Typical Sven. Always saving the day even when the day don't need saving. With Blasted tucked away on FS, Sven saw

When Loli Ynez sold her tortilla empire to Whole Foods for an outrageous amount of money, she had the painting of her father replaced over the fireplace with one of her as Bolivar.

In the same way that Pittsburgh is to glassblowing as Acer is to Piedmont, so, too, is the remainder of this sentence.It is what it is. Can't sugar coat it although maybe I should.

have some mustard on your eggs. If tomorrow is cloudy, have a pickle with your mustard. If you discover it is that time of the month, dip some chicken in your mustard. Like Marcia