before they quitened down. The lead speaker cleared his throat and announced, “It has been unanimously decided that we shall name its satellite, ‘Dickus’.” The IAU applauded,

with whatever tiny desert creature had taken up home in his navel. (The creature was winning, as it had curled up in there to die, but Barnes didn't know that. Tom's vulture glided

I am indifferent to pineapple on pizza. I have no strong opinion on Trump. I am the average person, meaning that in reality I'm no one, but a balanced mixture of everyone. I; Joe

It's all too...chaotic. There needs to be reform I say, REFORM! Lets start by equipping each folder with a mind-controlling helmet, of which I am in control. A hive-mind of folders

had once again ruined the day. If only he hadn't published that post his coach would have esteemed him. But now all he had was damage control to do, and on the basketball court

fully wrapped in the fat from the collar of a pig. "So much for a toast to our deceased friend Howard" mumbled C.A.S. as his glottologist friend grumbled about the alcohol choices.

Civility would be nice. To sit down for dinner and to have respectful conversation. This is what our country needs again... civility.

people out of our country! We are also not fond of those wearing polka-dots. If we have the chance we enslave them because they are too smart for their own good. Just like those

She labored on her hands and knees, crawling on the ground acting like she was looking for a lost contact. People started to gather. Soon others were on their hands and knees.

How to make a new friend when you really don't want to. 1. Put Vaseline on your nose and a cotton ball on top of the Vaseline. Then walk around with superglue and a cotton ball. 2

There once was a tortoise with a blue head and a plaid shell. It was painted that way by my obnoxious younger brother Ramona. Yes, "Ramona" with an "a." He was always up to

Did you ever smell the inside of my sister's shoes?

Sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. My mother would often say there was no point in making up a story, because the truth was unbelievable enough. And for our family truth

nor children or the poor. Equality wasn't even defined as equitable. The founders of this nation had no clue what we would evolve into nor how their precedents would get in the way

to a far off land. A land never heard of before. A place where mammals slide along their backs with their feet up in the air and fish swim through the air. The bird dropped me in

e upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary... this story beginnings on the night before Christmas, when all through the house, not a creature was stirring,

L.A. had become home to a race of Zombie Pornographers who lived up in the hills, at the top of Sunset Park Place, with a view, on a clear day, that stretched from Mid Wilshire to

Stuart Little shook his head. ''They aren't. But I don't think you're being optimistic about this. You could get a lot of experience. Now, come with me. These demons are going to w

“Nope, we’re just trying to escape the floodwaters..” the cane toads said with a sheepish grin. It was all going well until a human decided to film the snake and it’s gang of toads

of watching compilations of people falling. The robots descended in uniform fashion, blaring 80s tunes and dressed in its fashion. "We have come to st-eal your groo-ve~" they sang